130 Small Square Moments
by Wumbo-Girl 1314
Summary: A writing challenge I found (and am attempting!) on undefinedromance's deviantart page! A series of 130 oneshots focusing on a range of characters from the series. Please enjoy and review!
1. Lock

Prompt 1: Lock

...

"Happy birthday, me darlin'!" Mr Krabs boomed, and he smiled as Pearl Krabs trumped down the stairs. His daughter- his sweet little angel- 18 years old today! It seemed like only yesterday that she had cooed her first words in her sweet, angelic voice...

"Gee, thanks Dad." Pearl huffed sarcastically, adjusting her Boys Who Cry pyjamas. "What's for breakfast?"

"Well, how about hot cocoa and waffles, Pearl?" Mr Krabs suggested, holding out a plate of steaming waffles, and her pink mug - which was filled with whipped cream and sprinkled with sugar pearls and heart shaped sprinkles. This made Pearl brighten up a little- normally her dad would be a cheapskate- even on Christmas and her birthday- but today seemed like it would be a good day.

She sat down at the table and began to tuck into her breakfast, surprised that it tasted so good. Her father was normally rubbish at cooking anything!

"Wow, these are great, Daddy!" She exclaimed. "Not burnt like I thought!"

"Only the best for me Pearl!" The crustacean exclaimed, kissing her cheek. "Actually, I had to ask SpongeBob to help me revive me cooking skills, lass...they weren't as sharp as they were in me days in the navy. But the lad got me up to speed again before long- and much more, too."

But Pearl wasn't listening- she was too eager for her birthday present. No matter how much of a cheapskate he was, she still hoped he would come around and get her something she wanted.

"Pearl, sweetie, I got ye a little present..." Mr Krabs began, and the whale slumped. Seeing his little girl's dejection, Mr Krabs hastily cleared his throat.

"Now, now, me girl, it's something I've been saving for ye for a number o' years now-and I think you're ready for it."

Pearl felt very curious, and sat up in her chair as her father handed her a green box...which was tattered and filthy. It looked almost like he had fished it out of the Krusty Krab dumpster the night before! It smelled musty and had dog eared corners. She wondered in disgust what cheap little knick-knack he got her _this_ time.

Her lip curled.

"Now, Pearl, I know the box ain't a pretty thing, but it's got something important in it that...that is...erm..." But no matter how hard the restaurant owner thought about how to explain the situation, he found he couldn't say anything- not on her birthday.

"It's a gift left from your mother," He finished, lamely, rubbing a meaty claw across the back of his neck. "Listen, pumpkin- I never told you anything about yer mother, did I?"

Pearl paused, a syrup covered pancake piece halfway to her mouth. "No, you haven't- will you tell me today?" She asked hopefully.

"No...but only because I want to make yer birthday a good one. What happened to yer mother's a very sad story. I promise I'll tell you about her soon, though- but in the meantime, I think you're ready to inherit this." He nodded towards the box.

Pearl gingerly lifted the lid, and amongst crinkly old tissue paper, she found a beautiful mother of pearl calico scallop shell locket on a silver chain inside. She lifted it out gently, and she beamed. It wasn't diamonds or a new phone, but it a necklace left from her mother was pretty coral. "Thanks, Daddy! It's really pretty!" She grinned. Suddenly curious to see if a picture of her mother was inside, she fumbled for a catch until she glimpsed one, and pressed it hurriedly.

All that was inside the locket was a single lock of gold hair- much like Pearl's, except it was slightly darker.


	2. Paper Cut

Prompt 2- Paper Cut

...

"Okay, Squidward- two Krabby Patties coming up!" SpongeBob called cheerfully from the kitchen and took the order slip from the octopus at the counter- and yelped.

"What is it now, SpongeBob?" Squidward asked rudely.

"I...I just got a paper cut!" SpongeBob whimpered, and he began to sniffle quietly. He was a sensitive fellow, and despised pain of any sort.

"Just make those Krabby Patties!" Squidward huffed. "Honestly, what a moron..." He muttered to himself, rolling his eyes.

SpongeBob prepared the patties with his usual precision and flair, albeit with his left hand instead of his right, and added a lot of love to it- as he always did, before calling out "Order up!"

Then he noticed Squidward had nodded off at the cash register- again. So he put his spatula on a hook on the wall, and he exited into the dining area to find the hungry customer.

...

His eyes scanned the restaurant, searching for anyone who didn't have an order. His eyes eventually settled on a familiar pink starfish sitting alone at one table, and he perked up.

"Ah, these patties must be for Pat!" He exclaimed, and he dashed off to deliver the Krabby Patties to his best friend.

"Here you go, Patrick- two delicious Krabby Patties!" The spongy fry cook exclaimed, placing the tray on the table, before looking forlornly at his cut finger.

"Gee, thanks buddy!" Patrick exclaimed, but became puzzled when he saw tears welling in SpongeBob's eyes again. "What's wrong?" He asked in concern. He hated seeing his best friend crying!

"Oh, Pat, I got a papercut in the kitchen," SpongeBob exclaimed woefully. Patrick frowned for a moment, clearly in thought over what to do, before he brightened up, and taking SpongeBob's hand in his own, he gently pressed his lips against the finger SpongeBob had been rubbing at.

The fry cook blushed at this tender gesture, his sadness evaporating as he felt a warmth tingle through his veins as Patrick kissed his paper cut pain away. He wiped his nose on his arm, allowing his tears to run dry.

"Thanks pal," SpongeBob sniffled, managing a little smile. The gesture reminded him so much of their youth- scraped knees and hands, tears and kisses of love and kindness.

"Hey, don't mention it, buddy!" Patrick replied, giving his best friend a big squeeze for extra measure. "So, you still up for jellyfishing once you finish work?" He asked.

SpongeBob nodded gleefully, his head squeaking. "Of course, Patrick- I'm always up for jellyfishing!" He replied.


	3. Sunset (Character Study I)

Prompt 3: Sunset

A/N: Takes place during 'Dying for Pie'. Enjoy!

...

"Five... You do the rest, buddy!" SpongeBob declares, and I feel chills down my spine, despite the warm air surrounding myself, SpongeBob and the brick wall I had hastily built to: 1. Protect myself from the explosion that would be my neighbour and co-worker. 2. Not have to witness the death of someone I may just care about – just a teensy little bit.

Dear Neptune.

This cannot be happening. That little barnacle head on the other side of the wall is going to die...all because I gave him a pie- bomb. It doesn't feel like it is real- it feels that nothing would happen and SpongeBob would be safe and giggling obnoxiously as normal.

But it is real- and I'll be responsible for the silence that consumes my life once the sun rises tomorrow- in fact, once the sun sets. I watch it sink slowly into the horizon, and I feel my heart do the same in sync. Not much longer left until my neighbour blows up.

"Four..."

As annoying and idiotic as SpongeBob gets, I'll miss the little guy. He did- does- consider me to be a friend- a sentiment on which I feel neutral. He's an annoying little twerp who has annoyed me for years, and has got me into various mishaps, to put it lightly.

But on the other tentacle, he has shown some kindness towards me, which I find hard to ignore sometimes- especially since I never had any childhood friends or siblings to help me in my time of need, or make me feel that I was worth spending time with.

SpongeBob provided me with that...and a criminal record, not to mention a pain in the tentacles. We've fought; we've stuck up for each other...him more than I.

" _...three..."_

How will Patrick take the news? Or Gareth, Gary, whatever his name is?! Or the squirrel SpongeBob made friends with? Would they blame me for SpongeBob's death? No, wait, they would. I fed him that stupid bomb.

But I know SpongeBob wouldn't be mad. In fact, he'd have a stupid grin on his face and ask me if I'd want to go jellyfishing with him.

That's just SpongeBob- he could get away with murder, almost, but he'd forgive his murderer as well.

" _...two..."_

But I can't. I hoped that giving SpongeBob a great last day alive would alleviate my conscience and show, somehow, that even when I bully him to tears, or throw back his kindness in his face, or rebuff his attempts at affection, that, deep down, I do care about him. I, Squidward Q. Tentacles, care about my neighbour, SpongeBob SquarePants.

" _... one..."_

SpongeBob is probably one of the few, if not the only, people I could call a friend and mean it, as well. I'm not a sentimental cephalopod, but Sponge is the closest I have ever come to having a best friend- or even a little brother- albeit an annoying one.

"I guess we started too early. Let's start again." SpongeBob suggests, interrupting my thoughts. I find myself tearing up on hearing his voice.

"Five... four... three..." I say shakily, before a loud explosion occurs behind the wall, and I start crying in grief over my lost sort of friend "...two...o-o-o-one... Well, at least I was able to make his last few hours meaningful." I sigh "I am such a good person." In truth, I don't feel like I am. I may have volunteered to make SpongeBob's last day special but I wouldn't have had to do that if I hadn't fed him a stupid pie that wasn't even a pie- that had been a bomb!

I suddenly hear another explosion- except the wall falls on top of me. Bemused, I emerge from the rubble for a peek- only to see SpongeBob blowing those blasted bubbles in the shape of bombs, which were exploding like actual live bombs! Fuming, I rise to investigate how on earth my co-worker survived the pie exploding in his intestines.


	4. Award

Prompt 4 – Award

Sandy Cheeks was tidying up her Tree dome after an experiment gone wrong- involving SpongeBob and Patrick, nitrogen triiodide, and a heck of a lot of pillows- when she received her mail for the morning. The mail fish just gave a bored look when he saw her scraping away feathers from her lawn with a garden rake.

He gave her a look, and Sandy nodded as she received her mail through a special tube mailbox and nodded in thanks, before tossing the rake aside and going through her mail, hoping for something of interest.

"Bills...a memo from my bosses about that top secret project, a letter from my folks...postcard from Randy...hey, what's this?"

She tore open an envelope that had a familiar stamp on it...which she never, ever expected to see within her polyurethane wall!

"Could it be...naw, they wouldn't bother with me, would they?" She wondered.

She tore open the envelope and pulled out a letter, and her heart skipped a beat or two as she skimmed it, before taking a few moments to devour every word.

It read

 _Dear Sandra Cheeks,_

 _We are pleased to announce that you have been nominated for a Narwhal Prize in your work in Physics and Marine Biology as selected by the Narwhal Committee. The ceremony will take place in the Konserthaddock, in the Baltic Sea on December 10_ _th_ _. You are not to disclose information of your nomination for a fifty year period._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _The Narwhal Committee_

Sandy was over the moon- she was nominated for a Narwhal Prize! This was big news- she hadn't heard of anyone in Bikini Bottom being nominated for a Narwhal Prize before! She whooped in delight. Just wait until her friends and family could find out about it- they would be so happy for her!

Though it was a bummer they would have to wait fifty years. Hmm, maybe she could turn to cryogenics to keep her parents alive long enough to tell them about her nomination.

Still, Sandy was so excited about her nomination that she didn't mind that SpongeBob and Patrick had made a mess of the Tree Dome- in fact, when they came over with contrite expressions and cleaning supplies- such as mops, buckets of water, and bizarrely, kitchen sponges and pot scrubbers- Sandy pulled them into the tightest squeeze she could without suffocating them, temporarily forgetting her frustration towards her friends for making a mess of her home and invited them to sit down.

Even if she had to keep her two best friends in the dark for now about one of the greatest moments in her life due to some silly rule, there was no reason why she couldn't get out some celebratory cookies and hot chocolate.


	5. Twilight

Prompt 5- Twilight

A/N: A Minrick drabble. Hope you enjoy!

"Isn't it a beautiful night, Patrick?" Mindy asked her boyfriend one twilight evening, as they cuddled together on Patrick's rock.

"Yeah..." Patrick agreed dreamily.

"Would you like to know why I love the twilight?" The princess asked, glasses glinting brightly.

"Okay!" Patrick beamed.

"It reminds me of you, Patrick- the purple of your eyes, the pink of your warm hugs, and the reds of your heart." She said bashfully, blushing.

In response, Patrick scooped his princess into a Patrick bear hug, before kissing her nose gently, making Mindy giggle. Hearing her laugh filled Patrick's heart with warmth, and he smiled.


	6. Dawn

Prompt 6 – Dawn

Gary sure knows how to spoil sweet moments- these next two stories explain why. Enjoy reading!

...

Ah...it is life's greatest and yet the simplest pleasures to partake in some nice hot tea and watch the dawn embrace small town Bikini Bottom in folds of pink and gold, smell the sweet salty air of the sea water around us, and listen to the bivalves singing the dawn chorus in their sweet, uplifting calls- all from the roof of the pineapple I call home.

Below, I hear my master's soft and rhythmic snoring, and I smile in bittersweet reminiscences of all those times I had woken before even my early bivalve of a master.

I am a very intellectual being, and I hold this gift in high regard, and I use it to think on life's biggest mysteries...and yet...it is SpongeBob's innocence, the ability to turn the page on a bad day and look forward to the next day which makes me ponder the most.

He does get on my nerves a fair amount of the time- with his energetic schemes, his rambunctious attitude, his childish immaturity...

But it is his zest for life, his never ending optimism, his kindness towards even the most evil and the most unknown people in Bikini Bottom that make SpongeBob. His innocence makes me reflect on things in life- not just the large mysteries of philosophy and literature, but he makes me think of the small things in Bikini Bottom- the Krusty Krab, for example. I could never find fulfilment there, but he has proved that people don't need fancy jobs to be happy.

I take a sip of my tea as I watch the pinks and golds gradually lighten and transform into the brightest blue. I do not know of how long I have sat out here, but I am glad that my insomnia has given me the chance to witness this glorious aurora.

If I head back in soon, I shall witness a very different dawn occurring in my own house.

No matter how long I have known my master and cherished friend, this dawn will also an honour to witness.

Also, I am in dire need of breakfast.


	7. Key

Prompt 7- Key

A/N: Some SpongeBob and Squidward brotherly fluff ahead! Hope you enjoy! P.S Anyone who gets what literary reference I'm making in this oneshot gets one of Squid's mom's cookies! Apologies if there's any OOC-ness.

...

SpongeBob's fingers of his left hand enclosed round dust balls and the cloth of his pants pocket- but no key.

"No problem, I'll just get my spare key from under the mat...and...wait a minute- _that_ was the spare key! Oh my Neptune! Gary, Gary!" SpongeBob shouted, banging on the door to attract the attention of his beloved pet snail. "Gary, I lost my key again! Please could you let me in? Gary, be a pal and let me in out of the rain!"

But Gary was curled up on SpongeBob's chair in the library, snoozing, with the book 'To Butcher a Bivalve' resting beside him.

...

SpongeBob received no response from his pet and so he slithered down the door in defeat, groceries cradled in one arm, his head in his other hand, rain soaking his bag and his spongy frame.

Well, he lost both keys, and he couldn't get into his house through the windows- the only way he could get back in quickly was to break in- but unless he wanted to get entangled with the police again for 'breaking into' his house, there wasn't any point in destroying his front door just because he mislaid his house key and his spare in the space of a week.

"What am I gonna do now?" He asked himself despairingly, as the rain continued to lash down on him. "I could stay with a friend until the rain passes! But Sandy's in Texas for the weekend, Patrick's with his parents, and Mr Krabs lives too far away from here to walk"-

He suddenly heard the off tune screeching of Squidward's clarinet, and he grinned. "I know who'll help me!" He sprang to his feet, delighted at the prospect of calling in on one of his two favourite neighbours in Bikini Bottom!

...

Squidward was now tuning his clarinet, ready to practice his newest piece he had written at work in a rare burst of activity, when he suddenly heard a bang on his front door. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, he ignored the noise and began to play his new song – obliviously horribly- on his beloved instrument.

But the knocking continued, and no matter how hard or how loud Squidward played his clarinet, he could still hear the door, causing him to lose patience, until- "BARNACLES!" He shrieked, nearly throwing down his clarinet in a fit of anger, before taking deep breaths to calm himself. "Get it together, Squiddy- it'll just be SpongeBob. Just do what you normally do, and it'll be fine."

He had a feeling in his gut that those words were false, but false hope was better than nothing when dealing with his nuisance of a next door neighbour at a time like this.

So he stormed downstairs, clarinet in hand and threw open the door. Outside stood a shivering SpongeBob, holding a bag of groceries in the nook of his arm, water dripping off his long nose and leaking out of his pores. He shot a warm, relieved smile up at Squidward, who only scoffed in disgust at the sponge's pathetic appearance.

"Good evening, Squidward," the poriferan greeted politely and kindly. "How are you?"

"I was perfectly fine- until you knocked on my door and disturbed my clarinet practice!" The octopus retorted rudely, already sorely tempted to slam the door in his neighbour's face. "What do you want?"

"Well, Squid- I'm locked out of my house, and my groceries and I need somewhere to stay until the rain passes- could we please"-

Squidward was glad to give in to temptation, which shook the paintings of him hanging from the walls.

...

Later, the cephalopod decided to curl up on the sofa with a good book and some steaming kelp tea. "Ahh...this is the life..." He sighed, snuggling into the cushions. "I do pity any poor soul not in my tentacles right now..."

At once an image of a pathetic looking SpongeBob hit him, and he recoiled.

"Well, maybe apart from SpongeBob, of course...I mean, he ruins my good days and worsens my bad ones!" He snapped, arguing with his conscience in an attempt to stifle the guilt he felt at leaving SpongeBob in the rain so callously. Yet, no matter how many times he tried to rid his mind of the memory, it assaulted him harder than before.

"Ughh...that little barnacle head better appreciate what I'm going to do next, because I'm certainly going to regret it." He sighed at last, abandoning his tea and book before storming over to the door again. Opening it, he couldn't see SpongeBob anywhere- and at first, he was relieved, until an accidental glimpse to the left revealed a pale, droopy ball of yellow curled round his groceries like a mother snail defending her young, and huddled into the door of the pineapple he called home. Seeing this made Squidward feel worse.

"Hey, Sponge! Get over here!" He shouted. He watched as the ball unfurled itself and shuffled over to Squidward's Easter Island head house.

...

"Gosh, thanks for inviting me in, Squidward- you're a real pal." SpongeBob said gratefully, sitting on a nest of old towels on Squidward's sofa about eight and a half minutes later, forgetting about the fact that Squidward had shut him out long before- either that, or he didn't realise that Squidward didn't want him around- nothing new, in other words.

"Yeah, whatever- don't mention it." The cephalopod replied disinterestedly, picking up his book again and opening it to where he left off. On seeing SpongeBob tempted to say something, he raised a tentacle for silence. "Seriously, don't mention it."

"Okay. Whatcha reading, buddy?" SpongeBob questioned, shuffling along the sofa to the octopus, minding to keep his nest of towels that Squidward insisted on.

Squidward flinched at the question. "I am reading my new book about an artist named Pike Pacific -which I would like to enjoy in _peace!"_ He hissed rudely, not in the slightest bit interested in making conversation with his unwanted guest- only invited in by his stupid conscience.

"Alright, Squid- I'll leave you to it." SpongeBob's innocent, cerise coloured eyes fell upon his bag of groceries. Two pink and purple sachets were sticking out, giving him an idea of how to thank Squidward for his kindness. "Hey, Squidward- may I please borrow your kettle?" He asked politely.

Squidward narrowed his eyes at the peculiar request, but shrugged. "Fine- and if you need to use anything, just help yourself." He added with a grunt- anything to get SpongeBob off his back, even if only for so long until he was able to leave here for good. "Just...just don't destroy my house, please." He requested.

"Thanks Squiddy!" SpongeBob cheered, and dashed off to the kitchen to work on his surprise to Squidward.

...

"Da-dee-da-dum- da-dee-doo-lee-da-dee..." the sponge hummed in time to the kettle's loud whistling and screeching, pulling out two mugs from one of Squidward's cupboards, and swiftly tearing open the packets from his bag, before pouring their contents into the mugs and emptying the boiled water from the kettle into the mugs.

A rich, delicious, tantalising aroma drifted towards his nose, and he sniffed appreciatively, his mouth watering at the smell.

Then, SpongeBob saw a plate of cookies on the kitchen worktop. Remembering Squidward's words, he decided to take them through too- after all, the only thing better than hot cocoa was hot cocoa and cookies! He knew they were Squidward's, so he wasn't going to touch them- but perhaps Squid liked cookies and hot cocoa. SpongeBob _adored_ the combination- a treat his grandma made him and Patrick in the winter months when they were kids, as it was often colder around that time of year.

Balancing the plate carefully on his head, he swiftly grabbed both mugs and skilfully headed into Squidward's living room with the goodies.

"Hey Squid- I got something for you!" He called cheerfully, with the biggest, goofiest grin on his face. Boy, was Squid gonna be surprised!

Squidward looked up with a groan- and nearly fell off his seat when he saw the little yellow cretin -with his mom's cookies! "Sponge _Bob_ \- why have you got my mother's cookies?" He demanded crossly. "You better explain yourself!"

"But...but I thought you said I could help myself to anything I needed..." SpongeBob replied, his eyes showing confusion and tears of sadness. "Besides, I wasn't going to eat them- I brought them back for you, Squid. I just thought you'd enjoy cookies and hot cocoa..."

"And what in the name of Neptune inspired you to do such a _childish_ act?" Squidward spat, to which SpongeBob started sniffling in reply.

"I only wanted to thank you, Squidward, for being such a good friend and letting me in out of the rain..." he said quietly, tears beginning to stream down his cheeks.

For the second time that day, Squidward's conscience took delight in tormenting him about his new act of aloofness. Shutting his neighbour out in the rain had been bad enough- but then, to rebuff his kindness like that...

' _No, no, I am not going there!'_ He thought, frantically.

But there was something... _final_ about the sound SpongeBob made as he set down the mugs and plate on the coffee table. It was almost inaudible, but hearing it made him feel a lot guiltier than it would normally have.

' _Oh, Neptune, I didn't mean to make him cry!'_ He realised, seeing the poor kid starting to sob his heart out over something so trivial.

Also, the hot cocoa did smell nice...He sniffed the air, and he suddenly felt his childhood memories rush in -of happier times when he was just a larva... which he rarely ever recalled now- with that thought in mind, he lifted up a mug hesitantly, and the plate of cookies.

He felt terrible about snapping at poor SpongeBob for interfering with the cookies - especially as the poriferan meant well, and Squidward _did_ neglect to mention not to touch them. However, he hated trying to apologise to people he had upset- especially to his next door neighbour, of all people.

Instead, he slowly moved the plate in front of his neighbour, hoping that an offering would cease his tears - and convey the much needed message he found hard to say.

"Sponge...?" He asked quietly, causing a tearful sponge to slowly remove his fingers from his tear soaked eyes. He saw the cookie plate in front of him, and looked quizzically at Squidward, who only nodded in affirmation, and jiggled the plate gently but impatiently.

Cautiously, SpongeBob took a cookie from the plate, and then he smiled at Squidward, blue eyes sparkling with joy and affection at this unexpected act of kindness. A warm feeling washed over Squidward, like the sea in the summer- he could somehow tell SpongeBob had forgiven him for getting angry, and he was feeling oddly...happy - or at least, not feeling his usual, grouchy self.

The pair sat together in Squidward's living room, enjoying the hot cocoa, Squidward's mom's cookies and each other's company.

...

Little was either of them aware that Gary had been sleeping in SpongeBob's library- with both keys safely tucked into his shell, alongside his strange assortment.


	8. Concert

Prompt 8- Concert

A/N: Only August Mackerel and my version of 'Oh du lieber Augustine' belong to me- he's based on Marx Augustine. Mindy, SpongeBob and Patrick, as well as everyone else belong to Hillenburg. The original 'Oh, du lieber Augustine' belongs to Marx Augustine and Marx Augustine belongs to Viennese history. This oneshot contains eventual Minrick.

...

Mackerel August wiped his sweaty fins on the legs of his blue velvet trousers and tried to slow his hyper-pulsating heart, to no avail. He fingered his beloved bagpipes as he peeked cautiously through the red curtain.

King Neptune himself was sitting in pride of place on his seat, with his wife Queen Amphitrite beside him. Nearby were two chairs occupying their children- their son, Prince Triton and their daughter, Princess Neptuna. Another seat was empty- the seat of Princess Mindy herself. A yellow square shaped sea sponge and a pink starfish were also in the presence of the king and the royal family.

"August, there you are!" A familiar voice exclaimed.

"Prin-princess!" August spun round in shock to see the bespectacled princess behind him.

"Are you alright, August? You appear to be very nervous."

August sighed. "I'm ju-just not relishing the honour of playing for your father, if you know what I mean."

"I can see that you're nervous about my father, but please don't worry, August. I've heard you play your bagpipes- no one's better at it than you are." This made the mackerel perk up hopefully.

"You think so?"

"Of course!" Mindy replied. "After all, you played a wonderful song on your bagpipes after Triton was banished. Besides, I thought you didn't get scared easily." She added, smiling.

"O-of course n-n-not," Said August.

"After all, who survived sleeping in a grave with a dead fish woman who had died of fish tuberculosis?"

"I-I-I did!" August exclaimed proudly.

"So go, August, and play those dear bagpipes." Mindy encouraged. "I'll be cheering you on –silently, of course. I don't want to disturb your music."

"Act-actually, Mindy, I do h-have one request I'd l-like to make..." August said shyly. And he whispered it into Mindy's ear. She beamed and nodded in agreement at her friend's plan.

...

SpongeBob and Patrick were confused at first when King Neptune started yelling like a madman and then threatened to execute the messenger that told him that Mindy would not be joining them this evening.

"I wonder what's happening, Pat." SpongeBob whispered.

"I have no idea, SpongeBob." Patrick replied feeling disappointed that he wouldn't get to see Mindy again- he had a huge crush on her, and he really wanted to ask her out.

"Well, never mind, Patrick." The sponge whispered, trying to be consoling. "Whatever Mindy's up to, she'd want us to enjoy this thank you concert."

"Suppose..." Sighed Patrick, slumping in his chair just as a loud fanfare blew.

"Ladies and gentlemen of His Majesty's King Neptune's court- I am pleased to announce that tonight's concert- held in honour of our two heroes, SpongeBob SquarePants and his compatriot, Patrick Star- is about to begin."

...

They sat through nearly two hours of all sorts of musical talent- including a woman who played the harp with her feet, which cheered Patrick up immensely, and made him laugh.

"And now, for our final performance, we have the esteemed bagpipe player, Mackerel August, with our beloved Princess Mindy accompanying him on voice!"

"WHAT?" King Neptune bellowed in shock.

"Calm down, dear- you know that Mindy's been good friends with August for some time now." Amphitrite said soothingly, rubbing his arm in an attempt to quench her husband's hot temper.

At this news, Patrick felt that his heart would break- he thought that Mindy already had a boyfriend, and he didn't know what to think anymore.

SpongeBob noticed the change in his friend's demeanour, but he was unwilling to say anything that could upset his best friend further. He instead took Patrick's hand in his own and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

Patrick managed a feeble squeeze in response as August began to play his bagpipes.

Then, Mindy began to sing;

" _Money's gone, best friend's gone,_

 _All is lost, August!_

 _O, you dear August,_

 _All is lost!_

 _Coat is gone, hat is gone,_

 _August lies in the sand._

 _O, you dear August,_

 _All is lost!_

 _Even that rich town Bikini Bottom,_

 _Broke is like August;_

 _Shed tears with thoughts alike,_

 _All is lost!_

 _Every day was a feast,_

 _Now we just have fish tuberculosis!_

 _Just a corpse's feast,_

 _That is the tragedy._

 _August, August,_

 _Lie down in Sally's grave!_

 _O, you dear August,_

 _All is lost!"_

In between verses, August played a rousing melody on his bagpipes, and although they were an odd duo, they somehow complimented each other in their performance- Mindy's soft, sweet voice was a stark contrast in comparison to the bagpipes.

Everyone was impressed by the performance, and at the end, they clapped and cheered loudly- even Patrick, despite his broken heart.

...

"Mindy, my dear sister you were outstanding!" Neptuna exclaimed perkily.

"Thank you." Mindy blushed.

"And August, I was blown away by your performance!" Queen Amphitrite added, with a large smile on her face "You and Mindy did a marvellous performance!" She smiled lovingly at Mindy, who smiled bashfully.

"Wow, you were great, Mindy- Pat and I enjoyed hearing you sing!" SpongeBob gushed.

"Why, thanks, guys," Mindy replied.

"S-so I guess I-I best b-b-be go-go-going then." August said nervously. "I s-s-s-see my boyfriend o-over there,"

"Well, thank you again for letting me join you, August- I had a lot of fun." The princess said earnestly.

"Wh-what are friends for, Princess?" Mackerel asked, relieved that his stammering was getting under control. "Well, see you guys later."

"Bye, August!" The sponge and the princess chorused, but Patrick said nothing. Wait...the musician fish had a...a boyfriend? That meant...

"Hey, uh, Mindy, Patrick here has something he'd like to say to you!" SpongeBob added, leaving Patrick to flush. "I'll leave you two alone," He added, smirking, and he started to head over to talk to Princess Neptuna- but Patrick grabbed his arm.

"SpongeBob, please, don't leave me!" Patrick begged, pulling on his best friend's arm so tightly, it fell off. Embarrassed, he offered it back to his friend.

"Aw, you got this, buddy- just tell her what's in your heart." The poriferan encouraged.

"How can I do that, if I can't see it, SpongeBob SciencePants?" Patrick demanded, causing SpongeBob to face palm.

"No, Patrick, just tell her how you feel about her." He replied, impatience starting to roll in, but he tried to keep calm and not snap.

"Um, is everything okay?"

Patrick jumped at the sound of Mindy's voice, and blurted out in a panic. "MINDYIREALLYLIKEYOU WILLYOUGOOUTWITHME?"

"I beg your pardon?" Mindy just looked confused. "I'm not sure what you just said. Please could you repeat that- and calm down." She added, concerned for her friend.

"Yeah- just take a deep breath - and another one- and another...there we go, you're doing great, buddy." SpongeBob encouraged, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder and rubbing it gently, all thoughts of leaving the two alone out of the window. It was obvious that his best friend needed him now, and by Neptune he'll be there all right!

"Okay, thanks SpongeBob- I'm...I'm fine." Patrick said- then his face went blank. "Um, what was I gonna say again?"

"PATRICK!" SpongeBob shouted.

"What, I forget." The sea star shrugged, prompting SpongeBob to whisper in his ear. "Oh, that's what I was going to say...thanks, buddy! Sorry, I'll try again." He cleared his throat. "Mindy, I just want to say...I like you- a lot, and...Will you go out with me?"

Silence...

Suddenly, Mindy's face developed the biggest smile that anyone had ever seen, and her eyes sparkled behind the lens of her glasses.

"Of course I will, Patrick- I like you too." she answered.


	9. Tooth

Prompt 9- Tooth

A/N: I'm introducing some OCs- ish. Hope you enjoy!

...

Her left hand played with her cousin's sharp tooth hanging round her neck on some ratty string. Warily, she eyed the sleeping girl next to her, as the bus rattled through some thick sea fog- it was thicker than coral soup, and the rain lightly pattered on the windows, creating a soothing melody for all hit hard travellers.

She herself was not affected, however, by the lull of the raindrops, and after confirming that her young companion was indeed asleep, she yanked out a crumpled, dog eared letter from the pocket of her worn jeans with her right hand.

Her sweat moistened hand soon made the paper slightly damp, and her other hand continued to play with the tooth all the while. The bus rumbled on, and she looked out of the window.

A hard to read sign read, through the extremely thick fog- 'Bikini Bottom- 40 miles.'

The young stingray realised that soon, she and her daughter would have to disembark 40 miles from now.

On the floor beside the girl's feet, lay a worm, fast asleep, tail drooped protectively round the young girl's legs. It had not been easy sneaking their faithful companion on board, but neither stingray wanted to leave their faithful friend behind.

Unscrewing her cousin's tooth like a lid, the older stingray pulled out a piece of paper firmly tucked inside.

It read, simply;

 _Bikini Bottom,_

 _Brace._


	10. Chase (Character Study II)

Prompt 10- Chase

...

Spot! Spot! Where is he? I ponder frantically as I run around the endless streets of Bikini Bottom, trying to find my new friend.

I haven't had Spot for long, but I've quickly come to love the little guy- for the first time in my life, I'm chasing for something other than the Krabby Patty Secret Formula. Instead, I'm running all over town- or to be more precise, across the street- calling his name as loudly as I can shout- which isn't very loud- and looking here, there- anywhere, really. I'm so desperate to find him I wouldn't spare a nook and cranny in the hunt for my Spot!

I guess...I guess I'm as much of a failure as a pet owner as I am a friend and at stealing the Krabby Patty formula.

How can I search this dead end labyrinth with minuscule legs and pitiable depth perception?

"SPOT!" I call out desperately as I arrive at the Krusty Krab dumpster before breaking down into tears of despair and agony.

For the first time in my life, I do not have a plan to achieve my end goals- which of course is to find Spot and bring him home to the Chum Bucket, safe and sound.

Presently, I see SpongeBob coming out of the Krusty Krab with the trash- at last! If it had been Krabs, I would never live this down, but at least this pest of a poriferan wouldn't be so judgemental about me losing my pet.

"What's wrong, Plankton?"

"I lost Spot!" I confess quickly, glad to have someone I occasionally regard as a friend to listen to me. SpongeBob gasps in horror, and immediately offers to help me look for him straight after his shift, and tells me to meet him outside the Krusty Krab at 6PM.

I agree reluctantly, hoping that Krabs doesn't find out, for fear of him keeping his top employee from helping me find my top pet.


	11. Tattoo

Prompt 11- Tattoo

A/N: Just a short story told through dialogue. Enjoy! Also, I'm sure you all know what S9 episode inspired this little piece!

Disclaimer: I only own Reggie- not the more infinitely awesome Squidward!

...

"Where did you say you wanted your tattoo, sir?"

"Just here- right above my elbow,"

"Okay- and the design you wanted?"

"Just a red rose- like the one in this picture I brought. See?"

"..."

"Can you do it or not? I've got to attend a stakeout tonight so I need it done as soon as possible!"

"Okay, okay! Now, just hold still, squid dude."

"What- I'm an octopus! Can't you tell the difference?"

"Whatever, man. Just chill, and I'll be done the tattoo in like, no time, no sweat."

"Fine- but I'll have you know that if you mess this up, I'll- agh!"

"Dude, I said hold still."

"Well, I'll have you know...Reggie, that I think that you need to learn some manners!"

"And your mom needs to learn her sea species. What octopus is called _Squid_ ward? Your mom's one messed up chick, dude."

"How DARE you call my _mother_ messed up! I shall report you to your manager for this impertinent, dishonourable, unsophisticated, so called professionalism I wish NEVER to re-live until I'm cold dead in my grave!"

"Chill, man- your tattoo's done. That will be $75."

"Here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a complaint to make about a _certain employee_ to your boss!"


	12. Hallucinations

Prompt 12: Hallucinations

Darkfic... For those who are squeamish, or who just don't like Sandy whump, please skip this prompt response, for there is blood, and a squirrel who hallucinates of death and despair. Also, I don't ship Spandy, but interpret this as you will.

Disclaimer: I only own Professor Sven Turquoise and Ernest currently without a surname. Sandy, SpongeBob and Patrick belong to Hillenburg and Nickelodeon.

...

The scribbling of pencils and pens on paper echoed off metallic walls. A coven of monkeys, led by a Professor Sven Turquoise, watched as a lone female squirrel began to stagger round the padded white room, looking for all the world a cross between a drunk and someone who had just risen out of bed and wasn't fully awake yet.

"May the testing of Project 49...begin!" A monkey announced, and he pressed a button, releasing gas into the padded room via vents...

...

Sandra 'Sandy' Cheeks beamed when she saw her best friends- SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star- ahead of her. They had wide, adorably boyish goofy smiles on their faces and their eyes expressed pure, undiluted joy at seeing her, and her heart soared.

"SpongeBob! Patrick!" She exclaimed happily. "Boy, I sure missed you guys, and Bikini Bottom being back on land!"

"We missed you too, Sandy!" SpongeBob exclaimed happily, spreading his arms out wide for a 'welcome home' hug. Sandy, unable to resist, rushed head on towards her first ocean friend, eager to show how much she missed her companions.

And then...

SpongeBob suddenly clutched at his chest, as though having a heart attack, causing Sandy to ground to a halt and regard her spongy pal with concern.

"SpongeBob- you okay, little square dude? You look paler than a"-

But she never finished her sentence, as SpongeBob flopped forward onto his face, and was suddenly very, very still.

"SpongeBob- what's up with y'all?" She asked nervously, bending down beside her companion to see if she could help him.

"Sponge-AGH!"

His chest was covered in scarlet blood, and it was gushing forth rapidly. Sandy, panicked, reached out for her air suit to rip a bit off to stem the bleeding-

And her fingers came into contact with her bare fur. She felt her mind reel at this revelation. That didn't make sense- her friends weren't wearing water helmets, so she should be wearing her air suit- but she wasn't. A quick inspection revealed that she wasn't

"Patrick, something's wrong- I ain't wearing my air suit, and yet- Patrick?" But the chubby starfish had disappeared completely into thin air. "Patrick, come back, darn it!" Sandy yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks, as she presses her hand against her friend's chest in a vain attempt to stem the bleeding. "SpongeBob's lyin' here dyin' and you doing nothin' to help him! Patrick, please- don't leave me like this! I don't even understand where we are, anymore, and I can't help our friend- and you can't just leave him like this! Please Patrick, come back! I can't make sense of this anymore!"

All the while, she watched, screamed hoarsely and cried out for someone to help her- help _them_ \- as SpongeBob's life slowly drained from his body and into the warmth of her hand.

"SpongeBob, please, you can't just die on me, you just can't! As your friend, I forbid it! SpongeBob, please don't die!"

"Sandy..."

"Shh, Sponge, it'll be alright," Sandy said suddenly, trying to reassure the sponge she thought who had already died.

"Sandy...thank you...for...our...friendship...I...appreciate...the fun...we...had together..."

"SpongeBob... thanks for being my first friend...you have no idea how much that means to me..." Sandy said, using her blood free paw to wipe SpongeBob's tears away. "I wanna help ya, but I don't know how..."

"Sandy...will you...sing ...for me...please?"

"...alright, SpongeBob. Y'all deserve the best, for giving the best to me, our friends, and Bikini Bottom."

And with that, Sandy, picked SpongeBob up in her arms, cradled his frail, weakening body to her chest, and began to sing a song about the ocean, and the moonlight, silently relishing her friend snuggling up to her- despite the fact that he was getting colder, and colder, and colder...

...

Professor Turquoise watched grimly as a loud scream was heard, followed by a pounding of fists. He did not know whom their test subject was referring to, nor did he care.

His lips slowly twisted and curled into a smile as he watched it unleash its fury onto the floor.

"Sir, I think Miss Cheeks has suffered enough...we should shut the project down, now." said one monkey, bravely. He didn't like the idea of testing such a dangerous drug on someone- especially when it caused the person to go mad with grief over the loss of a loved one.

"No, no, my dear Ernest...just _look_ at it. Don't you realise how powerful Project 49 could be?" Professor Turquoise objected.

"I know it's powerful, Sven, but what could you accomplish from this...barbarity?"

"Ah, you shall find out, Ernest. You see, my dear man, our test subject just so happened to be a very strong minded squirrel...or so it claimed. It has now been reduced to a blubbering mess over a _hallucination_ \- a mere image in its head."

"You mean a hallucination of her dead friend?"

"Precisely...we could use Project 49 to torture prisoners into submission...you know, serial killers, defilers... _murderers_..." he whispered the last word, knowing what would happen next.

Ernest gasped in shock, and his face went bright red. "You keep my Emily out of this!" He snapped, balling his hand into a fist and raising it to strike his boss, who merely stood there calmly, not in the slightest bit frightened.

"Tut tut...temper, temper, Ernest...Kelsey wouldn't approve if you got the sack for assaulting your boss...besides, I thought you wanted to get revenge for your daughter's murder, just like any loving father would..."

"I'll confess I do want to make her pay for taking away my only child- but to turn her own mind against her using that...that toxic substance! Never! This is going too far!"

"Well, suit yourself, Ernest...you could not only have had revenge on your daughter's murderer, but you could have been rich beyond your wildest dreams...don't you want to support Kelsey, and avenge poor Emily's death?"

Ernest hesitated.

"Remember, Ernest, your wife wouldn't get one penny if her husband...joins the _unemployment line_." Professor Turquoise began to chuckle darkly.

Ernest spared one last look at the squirrel still sobbing over her unseen loss, and reluctantly shook his boss' hand, signalling his submission

"Good...your first task is to get rid of that pathetic squirrel- we don't need it anymore."


	13. Gift

Prompt 13- Gift/Present

A/N: Just an early Father's Day Story. Enjoy!

Also, I hope everyone's in character! First time writing out a long story with our greedy crustacean, and I think, personally, Patrick's the hardest character to write for. I've avoided him being a jerk, but it's his unique humour I find difficult, so forgive me if I've creeped anyone out with my jokes (something else I'm not good at.)

Dedicated to fathers and father figures all around!

Disclaimer: I own no own, save Dr. Bloat (Mrs Puff's dad)

...

"Good morning, daddy- happy Father's Day!" Pearl Krabs exclaimed happily, giving her dad a big kiss on the cheek and a great big hug to complement it.

"Aw, thank you, me little pumpkin!" Mr Krabs replied fondly. He sat down at their kitchen table for breakfast- after taking his pill, of course.

"Barnacles- why does that blasted pill have to be so big?" Mr Krabs complained. Pearl ignored him and presented him with breakfast, a card she had drawn for him, and a cake.

"Enjoy! I'm off to work now, dad! See you later, bye! Love you!" Pearl called out from the front door, giving her dad a goodbye wave and air kiss before opening the door and dashing out.

"Love ye too, sweetie!" Mr Krabs replied, as he gulped his breakfast down and headed out to work- but not before putting the card and the cake away safely for after work.

...

The day was ordinary for Mr Krabs- well, apart from an extra big hug from his fry cook, SpongeBob- but he put it down to the lad's extraordinarily affectionate nature.

"So, you boys got anything planned for your dads?" He asked, by means of conversing with his employees.

"Yeah- my parents are coming up to Bikini Bottom and we're going out to dinner at 'Fancy!' tonight!" SpongeBob said excitedly, bouncing up and down at the thought of seeing his beloved parents again. "Patrick's coming with us and his parents, too, so it's a double Father's Day date!"

"Yeah- and I don't even know why we're open on a Sunday- and especially on Father's Day- which may I remind you is a holiday, Mr Krabs?" Squidward huffed impatiently, tapping his tentacles on the wooden floor of his workstation behind the cash register.

"Well, it's a big day, boys!" Mr Krabs reminded them. "Don't worry, we'll be closing earlier today- I've...um...got something to do after work, and I- excuse me, lads." He scuttled towards his office, before he could say anything else.

"Poor Mr Krabs," Said SpongeBob quietly. "Don't you think he looked sad, Squidward?" He asked his colleague.

"I didn't see anything," Replied Squidward grumpily, with his nose in an interpretive dance magazine. "Now get back behind the grill and stop annoying me!"

"Oh gosh, thanks Squidward! You're a good friend to remind me to make more Krabby Patties!" SpongeBob grinned goofily, before zipping back into the kitchen.

"What a moron," Muttered Squidward wearily, imagining himself to be one of the male dancers in a brand new outfit, dancing to his heart's content-

"Hey, can I get a Krabby Patty?"

The cephalopod shot a death stare at the customer for disturbing his fantasy, before repeating the order to his co-worker, who had it ready quickly.

...

Later, Mr Krabs closed at 4:30 in the afternoon, and turned to his employees as he locked up.

"Well, boys, enjoy yourselves, and uh- yeah, I'll see ye tomorrow morning." He said awkwardly, averting eye contact with the sponge and the octopus. The latter whooped at being liberated from what he considered to be the worst job in the universe, whilst the former stared sadly after Mr. Krabs.

"He seemed so sad, but why?" The young fry cook pondered. He came up with an idea. "I'll go after him and cheer him up! No one deserves to be sad on Father's Day!"

...

So the sponge trailed after his boss- but every time he had caught up with the crustacean, something happened.

First, he ran into Larry with his adoptive dad. Larry asked SpongeBob politely what he was planning to do with his dad. SpongeBob answered what he told Mr. Krabs, and then asked what Larry was doing.

"Oh, well, we just came back from volleyball and music on the beach, so we're going to a pottery class!" Larry said enthusiastically.

"Great...have fun, Larry- bye! Bye Larry's dad! Sorry I can't stay, but I'm in a hurry!"

"That's okay, little square man!" The lifeguard lobster called in return. "See you around, SpongeBob!"

Next he met Mrs Puff with her father, Dr. Bloat. They were going out for a peaceful quiet 'SpongeBob- Free' drive before having a nice round of mini-golf. SpongeBob politely wished them all the best for their day, and shook Dr. Bloat's hand, before dashing off to catch up with Mr. Krabs

"Hey SpongeBob- you ready for tonight?"

"Patrick! Too many secondary characters are distracting me from my pursuit of Mr. Krabs!" SpongeBob yelled in frustration. "And you're not helping!"

"I'm not?"

"No- now move it, you dumb barrel of lard!" The poriferan yelled, before clapping a hand over his mouth in horror. It was too late- not only had SpongeBob lost Mr Krabs, but now he had insulted Patrick, too.

The starfish's eyes began to prick with tears, causing SpongeBob's heart to twist guiltily in his chest. Then, Patrick began to cry.

"Pat, don't cry...I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, really- I was just trying to catch Mr Krabs and make him happy." SpongeBob whispered guiltily, holding his arms wide open to give his best friend an apology hug. He pulled his friend close before rocking him side to side comfortingly. "Aww, I upset you big time, pal... he said miserably.

"So, you didn't mean what you said?" Patrick asked hopefully, causing SpongeBob to smile tenderly.

"Of course not, pal- I just got angry and said something horrible without thinking. Still friends?"

"Of course, buddy!" the starfish replied eagerly, squeezing his best friend tightly, happy to forgive the insult. "So, do you need that help, then?"

"I guess so, Patrick." SpongeBob decided wearily. "I just kept running into everyone except Mr Krabs."

"Why were you following him, again?"

SpongeBob explained everything to Patrick, who nodded solemnly and then said "Follow me, SpongeBob- I saw which way he went."

...

The duo walked hand in hand towards a cemetery, to which SpongeBob felt his stomach flutter.

"Are you sure he went here, Patrick, old pal?"

"Uh-huh. Do you question my tracking skills?"

SpongeBob shook his head quickly, to which his companion nodded and they pushed the rusty gate open before trooping inside.

...

They looked all over the graveyard- including a large crypt right at the far end- but they couldn't see another living soul anywhere, save for each other, and the occasional scallop chirping in the coral trees.

But just when SpongeBob decided to call off the search and go home with Patrick to get ready for dinner, he felt someone grab his arm a bit too roughly.

"Patrick?" He asked, starting to turn around.

"What are you doing here spying on me grievin', boy?!"

...

SpongeBob screamed in shock as the voice registered in his brain. "Oh, hi Mr. Krabs- fancy seeing you here- heh, heh..."

"Don't play dumb, lad! Your friend told me that you and he were looking for me! Now what is so important that you followed me to me own father's grave?!"

The poriferan felt dizzy and shocked at the revelation. He now began to feel guilty for the second time that day. Over Mr Krabs' shoulder, he could see his best friend's facial expression mirrored his current sentiments.

"Oh...well, I saw that you were sad this morning, and I wanted to try and cheer you up after we finished, but...that didn't go according to plan..." he explained carefully.

The old crustacean sighed, and released his claw's grip on his best employee's arm. "I appreciate the thought, boyo- even if you did have to stalk me for you to execute that. But...I was upset for a reason. Me own father's gone, SpongeBob. I come here every year to pay me respects."

"Oh barnacles...Mr Krabs, I am so, so sorry that I intruded like this, sir. I didn't realise..."

"That's alright, lad. Just try not to meddle in future, okay?"

"Aye, aye, captain!" SpongeBob exclaimed saluting, causing Mr Krabs to chuckle weakly.

"Well, I better go home, boys." He caught sight of the dark clouds threatening the sky, and he exhaled wearily. "It looks like it'll rain soon- you boys like a lift back to Conch Street?" He offered.

"Wait, Mr Krabs, you walked here." SpongeBob said in confusion.

"Oh boy, a piggyback home- come on, SpongeBob!" Patrick exclaimed happily, jumping on Mr. Krabs' back.

"No, Patrick, you barnacle head!" Mr Krabs bellowed, gently pushing the starfish off his back. "I called Pearl earlier before I went in to pick me up afterwards- she's working today." The crab explained. "I could get her to drive you boys home so you're not late for your parents."

They nodded. "Yes please!" They chorused eagerly.

...

As Mr Krabs headed out of the cemetery alone to wait for Pearl to arrive, the two best friends hung back to discuss their current scenario.

"Patrick, Mr Krabs really misses his dad." SpongeBob said sadly.

"Yeah- I would." Patrick agreed. "I can't think of not having my parents around."

"Same here, buddy. But how can we cheer him up?"

The two thought about it, until SpongeBob came up with an idea. "Patrick, I've come up with an idea!"

"Oh boy- does it involve ice cream?" the starfish asked hopefully, causing the sponge to roll his eyes.

"No, Patrick- I was thinking we could invite Mr. Krabs and Pearl out to dinner with us! After all, Mr Krabs has been good to us, and it'd be a _triple_ Father's Day date! What do ya say, buddy?"

"I like your idea, SpongeBob! Though I still want ice cream..." Patrick pouted, causing SpongeBob to chuckle.

"We can get ice cream after dinner, Pat- if we're not too full..." He teased.

"I'm never too full, SpongeBob! Life's too short for that!" Patrick replied, and the pair laughed.

"Great, I'll go and make the proposal to Mr Krabs, and"-

"SpongeBob, isn't he a little old for you?"

"What do ya mean, Pat?"

"Well, you're a kid, and he's an old man, and you want to marry him?"

"No, Patrick, I don't! I just meant I'll tell him that we're inviting him and Pearl out to dinner tonight. Now come on."

...

"Thanks for picking your old man up, sweet pea," Said Mr Krabs to Pearl. "Listen, SpongeBob and Patrick are here as well, and they need a ride back to Conch Street. Would you mind taking them back first?"

"Fine," Said Pearl in annoyance. She didn't mind SpongeBob personally- but both he and Patrick could be annoying at times.

"Boys- front and centre- on the double!" Mr Krabs shouted, causing both sponge and star to magically appear beside Pearl's boat.

"Mr Krabs, we, um, have a- well, that is, heh, heh..."

"Well, out with it, lad!" Mr Krabs snapped impatiently, unwilling to deal with much more today- he just wanted to go home and relax.

"We want to invite you to dinner." Patrick answered bluntly.

"Yeah...what he said." SpongeBob answered. "Pearl can come too if she wants."

Mr Krabs was speechless. "You boys...are inviting us to 'Fancy!'?" He repeated dumbly, at a loss for words.

"Yeah- it'll be great!" SpongeBob enthused. "You've done so much for Patrick and me, Mr Krabs, sir, and we want to thank you for that...and make you feel better about you not being able to see your father." He added shyly.

"Oh boys...that's so thoughtful!" Mr Krabs said giddily. "But, um, how much is it gonna cost me?"

"Daddy!" Pearl exclaimed in shock.

"Not a penny, sir. I'll call my parents and let them know." SpongeBob informed him. "Now, you two can head back to Anchor Street and pick up a change of clothes, and we'll back to mine to get ready! Pearl can use the bathroom or my room to change- we can change elsewhere."

"Okay, let's go!" Mr Krabs exclaimed.

...

"This food looks delicious!" Mr Krabs exclaimed happily, looking down at his steak, before sawing off a piece and eating it. "Mmm...It is delicious! How's your pasta, Pearl?"

"Yum!" Pearl exclaimed.

The others- SpongeBob, Patrick, Herb and Marge Star, Harold and Margaret SquarePants- all agreed with that eloquent word choice, for the smell of meat and veg, cooked to perfection with tender care, wafted round the group, making their bellies rumble- and they tucked in heartily.

...

Later, as Patrick hoovered up everyone's leftover pudding, Mr Krabs turned to SpongeBob. "I just want to say thanks again, SpongeBob- you know you didn't have to invite me to dinner, lad."

"I know, sir- I wanted to." SpongeBob smiled earnestly.

"SpongeBob, that was excellent- and I enjoyed myself this evening." Harold added, looking at his son affectionately. "This and the new jellyfishing net you made for me is a wonderful gift."

"I'm glad- Happy Father's Day, dad." SpongeBob said, smiling his biggest, toothiest smile.

"Thanks son," Harold said warmly, pulling SpongeBob in for an embrace.

"Happy Father's Day, Dad!" Patrick added to his dad.

"Thanks, Patrick." Herb replied, throwing an arm around Patrick's shoulders in a one armed hug.

Happy Father's Day dad!" Pearl finished.

"Thanks honey!" Mr Krabs gave her a kiss, much to her embarrassment, but she chose not to say anything.

...

Later, as the waiter cleared up their plates, SpongeBob whispered to Mr Krabs. "I'll let you in on a secret, sir." He whispered, noticing his boss beginning to sweat nervously.

"Yes, boyo?"

"This entire meal was at a discount." He whispered. Mr Krabs was astonished to hear this, and he whistled in amazement.

"How did you manage this, kiddo?" He asked.

"Easy...I helped the chef with a nematode infestation a month ago, and they promised a discounted meal for me and a small party here within the year. I decided now would be a good time to use it."

"That's me boy!" Mr Krabs exclaimed, and the two laughed quietly, much to the bemusement of the others.


	14. Sunrise

Prompt 14- Sunrise

'Let go of what kills you, and hold on to what keeps you breathing."

-SpongeBob SquarePants.

Wise words, Sponge. I felt this quote fitted this prompt respon

...

Isolated in a metal fortress, with only a husband who often neglected her and her feelings over his schemes to obtain the key to creating a sandwich, Karen Plankton had never found much to have joy in life.

Which was why she was surprised when, whilst cleaning the windows of the Chum Bucket early one morning, she couldn't help but marvel at the view outside.

Luxurious reds, majestic golds and romantic pinks painted the skies over the sleepy town of Bikini Bottom, dotted with streaks of the purple of the previous night.

She never found much use for watching the night transform into day- but then, she never found much use slaving away for her 'hubby' when he never once- or at least rarely- reciprocated her loyalty and- dare she say it- love- which was why she found it so pleasurable to forget about her troubled marriage and just enjoy nature and its mysterious, unexplainable beauty.

...

Meanwhile, in a pineapple on Conch Street, a snail slithered into his master's sleeping quarters – just before his fog horn alarm clock rang loudly.

Gary watched as the young sponge's bright baby blue eyes opened, and a smile formed on th poriferan's face on seeing his much loved pet.

"Good morning, Gare Bear! Sleep well?"

"Meow,"

"Good. I bet you must be hungry- how about some breakfast, pal?"

"Meow, meow!"

"Okay, Gare- one bowl of Snail-Po, coming up!"


	15. Moon

Prompt 15- Moon

A/N: Warning you now, I am not very good at physics, so please forgive any errors in this story- but I have tried to keep it as correct as possible.

...

The stars and the moon looked particularly nice through a clear ceiling, such as the one in Sandy's Treedome. On the grass, lay three sleeping bags close together- one purple with an acorn in the middle, one red sleeping bag on the left, and one green sleeping bag on the right.

In the purple sleeping bag lay a squirrel; the red one held a yellow square shaped sea sponge, and the green one contained a chubby pink starfish. They were all watching the stars- Sandy pointed out the different constellations and where they were at, and SpongeBob and Patrick were in awe at Sandy's knowledge of physics and astronomy.

"Wow, that's amazing, Sandy!" SpongeBob marvelled. He could never get tired of hearing about the different things his land friend knew.

"Well, that's nothin', SpongeBob," She replied, regarding the sponge. "I find it odd to be under the sea when the moon controls the ocean's tides."

"What?" SpongeBob and Patrick asked her in astonishment and confusion.

"Y'all ain't ever heard of how the moon controls the tides?" Sandy asked in bafflement, sitting up to stare at two of her closest friends in the ocean in disbelief at what she just heard.

"Well, if we had learned it, we've forgotten it," Said SpongeBob sheepishly. "Right, Pat?"

"Uhh...who are you, again?"

The poriferan face palmed. "Well, he'll have definitely forgotten. And I've forgot too. My memory's not been the same since I helped Squidward try to impress Squilliam."

"Well, let me remind y'all," Sandy decided. "The moon controls the tides through a gravitational pull."

"What and who?"

"A gravitational pull is an invisible force that causes massive objects to pull other objects towards them. This gravitational pull causes the ocean to get pulled into a bulge one way by the moon's gravity and into a bulge on the opposite side by the rotational force of the earth, causing two high tides, and two low tides."

"Wow..."

"Yeah...it feels weird knowing that happens when I'm underwater, considering I was always above it until recently." Sandy admitted.

"I think I understand it...thanks for telling us that, Sandy." SpongeBob said.

"You're welcome. Hey, it sure does look nice underwater. I'm glad I could share this night with you guys."

"We're glad too."

"Yeah," Agreed Patrick.

"Now who wants marshmallows?" Sandy asked, holding out a bag of pink and white marshmallows.

"Oh, we do! We do!" SpongeBob and Patrick chorused.

"I'll start the fire!" Patrick declared.

"No, no! Um, you two guard the marshmallows- I'll handle the fire." Sandy said. She was certain if she ever let them near fire- this sleepover would go up in flames.

...

Much, much later, the moon shone her beams down onto the peaceful image of the three friends snuggled up close together in their sleep, full of marshmallows and contentment at each other's company.


	16. Roof

Prompt 16: Roof

...

"Mermaid Man - will you wake up, you old coot!" Barnacle Boy shouted. It was 7PM and the citizens of Bikini Bottom paid no heed to what was once one of the ocean's greatest superheroes, in spite of his dire peril...

Except of course, for one SpongeBob SquarePants- one of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's greatest fans, who was standing next to the retired sidekick with a look of worry and fear on his innocent, childish face.

"What are we going to do now, Barnacle Boy?" SpongeBob asked his friend/hero, tugging at his sleeve curiously in the hopes of an answer.

"I don't know, kid!" The retired hero snapped furiously. "For all I know, he could start sleepwalking again, and neither of us can rescue him from down here- or get up there quick enough to save him before he accidentally falls from that roof!"

However, the young sponge had an idea. "I can save Mermaid Man!" He exclaimed triumphantly.

"You- you haven't got what it takes to climb up a building at fast speeds!" Barnacle Boy protested, hoping to dissuade the kid from doing something inevitably stupid.

"I can't- but 'The Quickster' can!" And with those bold, cheerful words, SpongeBob ripped off his pants to reveal his underwear, which he then removed to reveal himself in his blue and white 'The Quickster' costume from the International Justice League of Super Acquaintances.

"I'm coming, Mermaid Man!" He shouted, racing off at his trademark speed- which was as quickly as quickly can be, and in a quick 10 seconds, 'The Quickster' had rescued Mermaid Man as quickly as possible, before making a quick exit off the rooftop and quickly stopped beside Barnacle Boy.

"Man that was a lot of quicks and quickly-s!" SpongeBob sighed in relief, before putting Mermaid Man down gently on his feet. "Aw, he looks cute when he's sleeping." The kindly poriferan added.

"Hmph-I don't think so!" Barnacle Boy huffed in annoyance. "And I wouldn't put endangering his life while asleep _cute_ in the slightest."

"Oh, no, Barnacle Boy, sir- I didn't mean that!" SpongeBob protested

"I know. Now wake up, Mermaid Man!"

"EVIL!" Mermaid Man screamed loudly- which was a relief to the pair- before opening his eyes-only to find himself, his sidekick, and 'The Quickster' standing outside Shady Shoals Rest Home.

"Huh-what happened, Barnacle Boy? And why is The Quickster here?"

"You got on the roof again, old coot." Barnacle Boy sighed. "The Quickster saved you from falling off and hurting yourself."

"Hm- I don't remember going on the roof," Mused the hero. "Well, thanks, Quickster!"

"Don't mention it, Mermaid Man, sir!" The Quickster replied, ripping off his costume to reveal his underwear, and then he pulled that off to his usual attire.

"Huh- where did the Quickster go?" Mermaid Man asked in confusion, looking around. "He was right here, standing where the lad is."

The superannuated sidekick groaned in annoyance at his friend's confusion once again. "Well, back to square one- again."

"Goodbye, Mermaid Man! Goodbye, Barnacle Boy! I'll see you two around!" SpongeBob waved goodbye to his two heroes/friends, before starting to skip off home.

"Wait a moment, kid- I have something important to say to you!" Barnacle Boy called, causing SpongeBob to falter.

"Yes sir?" He asked politely, with his hands clasped in front of his chest.

"I just want to say...thanks, kid- you, um, did us a great service rescuing Mermaid Man from the roof." Barnacle Boy said, now feeling embarrassed at showing sentiment- something he didn't do a lot- especially to a kid he regarded as annoying half the time.

But SpongeBob only smiled warmly, causing the elderly man to immediately forget why he was embarrassed.

"You're welcome- you guys are my friends, after all. And even superheroes need a little super help- that's why the International Justice League of Super Acquaintances exists."

Barnacle Boy was about to correct his young friend- but reconsidered, and shook his head. "Well, I can't keep you waiting here any longer- you better head home, kiddo. I'll keep an eye on Mermaid Man."

"Okay, see you guys later!" SpongeBob called cheerfully, waving goodbye to his beloved heroes, before hurrying home to feed Gary and tell him about his day.


	17. Bully

Prompt 17- Bully

A/N: A smidgeon of brotherly love between Sponge and Squid! Apologies if Squidward's OOC in this- I'm still trying to establish the correct equilibrium between them. Enjoy anyway!

...

"Here's your orders, sirs!" SpongeBob announced brightly, delivering two Krabby Patties and a couple of Kelp sodas to Table 5 of the Krusty Krab.

"Gee, thanks kid," One of the customers said indifferently, picking up his lunch. But his friend started sniggering mischievously under his breath.

"Well, those customers are surely in a great mood today!" SpongeBob exclaimed, and he began whistling and clicking his heels together cheerfully as he made his way back to the kitchen to continue cooking.

Squidward also heard the customer's wheezy chortling, and looked up from his ' _Interpretive Dance Quarterly Magazine'._ He frowned when he saw one of them pointing to SpongeBob- then he raised his arms ominously, before flicking his wrists- and his friend nearly choked on his Krabby Patty from amusement.

"Hmm..." Squidward muttered darkly.

Then, quick as lightning, the customer, wearing a red T-shirt, leapt from his seat, sprinted across the room and grabbed SpongeBob's pants- all before the poriferan could even turn around to see what was happening.

"HELP!" SpongeBob cried in alarm, thrashing his legs around in a vain attempt to break free. "Someone, please help-ow, ow!" He cried, as his tormentor shook him by the waist of his pants, making him dizzy and in pain from them digging in.

The customer in the red T-shirt once again began laughing wheezily. "Fat chance, you square squirt!" He retorted nasally.

"Hey, Oliver, give him the ultimate wedgie!" Jeered his friend.

"With relish, Wendell!" Oliver sneered, and his hands snaked down SpongeBob's pants before grabbing the waistband of his underwear. Then, he yanked the sponge's underwear out, causing his victim to scream and yelp before whimpering in fright. Several horrible customers began to laugh cruelly at the fry cook's suffering.

Others looked horrified at the ordeal, but they didn't step in to help- they were rooted to the spot in fear. Squidward didn't like the idea of getting involved, either- but SpongeBob would have jumped in to defend Squidward should _he_ be the one in the situation- and that knowledge only fed his conscience-

With a sigh, he vaulted gracefully out of his boat shaped workstation, before stomping to the scene.

...

"Please-please let me go!" SpongeBob writhed in fear and agony, waiting for the bully to stop distressing him and leave him alone.

"Let the baby go, Ollie!" Said Wendell, slapping his friend's shoulder. Oliver slammed the fry cook to the ground, watching him struggle to stand up. But fright, combined with SpongeBob's usual lack of physical strength, sapped him of all his energy and he just flopped to the ground, before beginning to cry.

"Look at him- weaker than a baby worm!" Oliver jeered. "He can't even take one measly beating!"

This casually made throwaway comment made Squidward boil in fury- one _measly_ beating? The little guy suffered an ultimate wedgie, cruel and nasty names -and they made him cry, too! The one thing Squidward hated more than SpongeBob annoying him was seeing him cry- Tom could testify that fact.

He was reminded of his childhood, when he had been bullied in the past- and how he had no friends to turn to.

Well, he wasn't going to watch SpongeBob get pushed into the floorboards without a fight.

"You are both uncivilised and disgraceful people whom I hope to have the pleasure to witness getting kicked out of here!

"I don't think highly of you treating our fry cook like he's just some old plaything you can break- and I shall report you both to Mr Krabs for your misconduct!" The cephalopod snapped, speaking the same words he wished had been said to him in his youth.

He placed his tentacles on his hips, glaring defiantly at the bullies, who were not intimidated in the slightest at his attempts at bravado.

"Did someone say me name?" Mr Krabs asked, emerging from his office door with dollar notes tucked into his pants to look like a hula skirt.

But on seeing SpongeBob crying into the floorboards, Squidward in a defensive stance over him and the two customers sniggering without remorse at his employees, Mr Krabs put two and two tighter and began seething. Squidward swore for the rest of the day Mr Krabs' face was _redder_ than it normally was in the heat of the moment.

"So, think ye lubbers can beat up the best of me crew, do ye? Well, feel the claws of me wrath! Mr Squidward, see to the lad, will ya?"

Squidward helped his co-worker up to his feet and sat him down behind the cash register, before kneeling down by the little wooden boat. He didn't normally let people in his 'space' but he had _no_ intention of setting neither foot nor tentacle in the kitchen.

"Sponge...look, those guys were jerks to do that to you- especially for no reason...you okay?" He knew that SpongeBob wasn't, but he didn't know what else to say. SpongeBob just sniffled.

Then, without warning, lunged himself onto Squidward's lap, wrapping his skinny arms round Squidward's torso before pouring out his heartbreak and humiliation into his superior's shirt collar. Squidward was taken aback by this- he loathed physical affection, and normally went to great lengths to avoid receiving any from his neighbours- SpongeBob particularly. But the little guy was hurting, and he felt wrong not to do something- even if he didn't know the best way to help.

So he did the first thing he thought of – he wrapped his tentacles reluctantly round the small square mass of warmth cuddling into his chest, rubbing his back gently to soothe the painful, heartbroken sobs emitting from the fry cook.

"And stay out!" Mr Krabs bellowed, slamming the glass doors of the Krusty Krab on the two bullies. Squidward smirked- at least he got his wish. Mr Krabs returned to the cash register, looking quite pleased with his handiwork- but concerned for SpongeBob, also.

"How's the lad, Mr. Squidward?" The crustacean asked in concern.

"Inconsolable, sir," Answered Squidward drolly, wisely deciding to stay quiet on the fact that in addition to his strange dollar skirt, Mr Krabs now had two big fat black wallets tucked into his pants.

"Hm- well, he'll recover, Squidward. But it might take a while- just...be kind to SpongeBob in the meantime, lad- he needs cheering up." Mr Krabs said sadly, patting SpongeBob's head with his claw before returning to his office and shut the door.

"...Squidward..." A voice whispered brokenly from Squidward's lap.

"...what is it, SpongeBob?"

"Why did those guys pick on me?" A tearful poriferan asked, his fingers playing with Squidward's shirt. Squidward gulped- sometimes, people had some reason to target the weak. Squidward himself had been targeted as he was smart but often alone, and was forced to sit by the trash cans.

But the most chilling part was being targeted for no reason other than to be someone's punching bag, a toy, an object- something to break. SpongeBob was both unbreakable and too fragile for bullies to be allowed near.

"I don't know, Sponge. But I do know that you...um, you are a great kid- and not... always the worst neighbour in Bikini Bottom..." The cephalopod replied awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He stared down at SpongeBob, still snuggled into his superior's chest.

"I...I just want to say...thanks for sticking up for me, Squid," SpongeBob sniffed, before smiling at his friend appreciatively. The love and utter adoration he held for Squidward as a dear friend and neighbour shone in his eyes like baby blue moons, and Squidward felt a little...more appreciated. It was a nice feeling to be needed by someone.

He laid a comforting tentacle on SpongeBob's head, and patted it soothingly, whilst keeping his other arm wrapped round his younger co-worker.

May Neptune damn all who said he didn't care for his neighbour/surrogate little brother- just a tiny little bit.


	18. Camera

Prompt 18- Camera

A/N: Dulcie is the name I came up with for SpongeBob's grandma.

...

In her many, many years as a mother of six, Dulcie SquarePants learned that it was a good idea to have a camera handy somewhere- in case she missed something special to remember.

So when Harold SquarePants, one of her sons, and his wife, Margaret SquarePants (nee BubbleBottom) produced an adorable grandson for her, she was thrilled. Her son, Sherm, also had a son- Stanley SquarePants. She was fond of Stanley, but the poor boy was horrifically jinxed- though she kept her patience with him.

But it was SpongeBob who became the apple of her eye when it came to her grandchildren. And he was a wonderful child- always smiling and happy, and radiating love, innocence and happiness. When he was six, he received a pet snail, Gary, whom the boy loved dearly.

...

Shortly after Gary's adoption into the family, Harold and Margaret were invited to a family friend's wedding- but SpongeBob was sick and couldn't come with them. They couldn't cancel it either, as it was one of their best friends, and they had no intention of letting her down.

So they turned to Harold's mom for a babysitter.

"We're terribly sorry, Dulcie," Said Margaret apologetically, rocking her still feverish son in her arms as Harold pulled in a suitcase for SpongeBob's things, as well as Gary's pet carrier. "I know it's last minute, and SpongeBob's ill, but I"-

"Don't you worry about a thing, dear," Dulcie said comfortingly. "I'll be fine. I'll call if there's any trouble- but I don't think that will happen." She assured them.

"We really do appreciate the help, Mom," Harold added gratefully, placing the pet carrier down beside the fire before releasing Gary, who meowed frantically for his young master.

"Well, we'd best be going," Fussed Margaret.

"Mommy...?" SpongeBob asked weakly from his mother's arms. "Why are you leaving me?"

"Sweetie, we're not leaving you- we'll just be gone for a few days because Auntie Monday's getting married, remember? You're staying here to rest up."

"Okay..."

Margaret kissed her son's fevered brow before gently passing him to her mother in law, who cradled him gently. "Dulcie, you are a lifesaver." She said gratefully.

"Oh, Margaret, it's no trouble, honestly- I love looking after SpongeBob," Dulcie assured her. "Now, you two stay safe, and enjoy yourselves. I'll see you both in a few days,"

"Thanks, Mom," Replied Harold. "Now, son, we want you to take it easy, okay? We want you to get well again, and Grandma will ensure that. Love you, kiddo,"

"Love you dad. I love you mom." SpongeBob whispered.

"We love you, sweetheart. We'll see you in a few days." And with that, they left.

...

Dulcie placed her coughing and wheezing grandson on the sofa, and felt his brow- still feverish. "Grandma will make you some soup to help your throat." She told him kindly, but he shook his head.

"I...I...can't eat...keep...being sick." He rasped, coughing.

Dulcie frowned, but decided not to push it- she didn't want to make him worse, but she also wanted to ensure he didn't go hungry. Patting his back, she came up with a compromise.

"I'll tell you what, SpongeBob- I'll make that soup now, and I'll reheat it for you once you feel better-deal?" She asked, to which SpongeBob nodded weakly, wiping his watery eyes with his arm before lying back on the sofa.

"Meow," Gary slithered up the sofa and snuggled up to his sick young owner, and began purring consolingly. SpongeBob tried to lift a hand to pet his snail- but it just flopped down beside him uselessly.

Dulcie went through to make coral and buttered kelp soup- a family concoction perfect for sick days.

...

When she finished, she returned to the living room to check on SpongeBob- and found him fast asleep, his mouth hanging open and looking peaceful and innocent in his sleep. Gary was asleep beside him, curled protectively into the young poriferan's side. Despite the situation, she couldn't help but smile. She took the opportunity to flick through her photos on her camera and sort them out. A lot of them were photos of SpongeBob and her sons- as well as of Stanley and her other grandchildren.

Seeing something move from the corner of her eye, she looked up- to see Gary now on his owner's chest, and SpongeBob's pale arms snaking round his snail in a clumsy, sleepy hug.

Unable to resist, she took a photo of the pair, and watched as it flashed onto her screen. The pair looked both extremely vulnerable and very protective of each other at the same time- even in sleep.

She put her camera aside before pulling out a blanket for them and throwing it over her grandson.

"Sleep tight, SpongeBob." She kissed his forehead and petted Gary's shell tenderly, before she headed over to the kitchen and tidied her famous cookies into a tin for later- it was clear SpongeBob couldn't enjoy them at the moment.

Though Stanley might appreciate some...she was expecting him to be here the next day, as her son Sherm had an operation to attend, and his wife was working.


	19. Drive (Character Study III)

Prompt 19- Drive

Well, I'm not sure about this one, but here's a character study from Boating School. Enjoy!

...

My fingers grip round the wheel. _'Today, I will get my licence, I will get my licence!_ I tell myself firmly. There's no way I can fail today!

"Let's get this over with," sighs Mrs Puff. "What's the first thing you do?" She asks me

"Uhh..." This always happen when I'm about to drive- I always freeze up for some unexplainable reason. I can't say why it happens, but it paralyses me, and clouds any sense I have, leaving this deep, deep fear inside me which I can't control, which means I can't control how I drive.

"Start the boat." Patrick tells me. Good old Pat- always there for me when I'm behind the wheel and stiff with fright. I obey his instruction and start the boat, causing Mrs Puff to freak out for some reason.

Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff!" I exclaim in horror, hoping to calm her down before I start- even with Patrick helping me, I can't have a stressed out boating teacher!

"Whoa-ho! Huh? What?" Mrs Puff asks, confused.

"It's okay, it's only the boat." I tell her, glad that it isn't me like it was yesterday, when I freaked out over the boat starting. With Patrick guiding me, I feel like there's a warm, gentle hand over my own two hands, ready to steer me towards my very own boating licence!

"The boat? You started the boat?" Mrs Puff asks me in disbelief.

"I... I think so." I reply, still confused over this whole thing myself, but at the same time, I thank Neptune everything's working out great so far!

"Oh. Well... what's the second thing you do?" She questions me.

Scratch that thought- my mind goes completely blank, and I don't remember what to do. Oh no, what do I say? I can't think straight! "1924?" I blurt out, realising that it doesn't even make any sense.

"No, no, put it in drive." Patrick tells me through the walkie talkie. Of course! I feel silly for not knowing that- that was an easy-peasy thing! I can't believe I forgot!

At least I can't fail this 38th-oh, wait, 39th test. Even with Gary correcting me on how many tests I've taken, I still get the amount wrong!

But it doesn't matter- all that matters is that by the end of this exam; this sponge is graduating Mrs Puff's Boating School with his very own boating licence.

I'm ready!


	20. Ghost

Prompt 20- Ghost

A/N: A little SpongeBob SquarePants/Harry Potter crossover! Don't take this one seriously, folks- it's meant to be funny. And random.

...

"Whenever the skies in Bikini Bottom darken, no matter the hour, you can be sure that the Flying Dutchman will exercise his supernatural power"-

"Alright, enough of the rhymes!" Squidward yelled at the French Narrator rudely, shaking a fisted tentacle at the sky in fury at the audacity of narrators, French or otherwise, at torturing him even more than a walk home from the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob SquarePants, in the pouring rain and a howling wind would do (and have done, unfortunately)

"How rude!" The French Narrator exclaimed indignantly.

"Aw, be nice to him, Squidward- he's just doing his job," Protested the kindly poriferan, much to the older employee's disgust.

"Hmph! He's certainly done a good job of annoying me!" Squidward huffs. "I can't wait to get home- warmth, a cup of nice hot tea, my Clary- and of course be away from you for a few hours!" He added.

"And I shall feed Gary and watch a movie with him, Patrick and Sandy!" SpongeBob added brightly. "We're having a sleepover, too- are you sure you don't want to come, Squiddy?"

"Yes, yes, SpongeBob- I'm perfectly sure," Squidward smiled through gritted teeth. Then he frowned. "Wait a minute; didn't the narrator mention something about the Flying Dutchman at the start?"

"Oh, maybe he'd like to join my sleepover!" The sponge clapped his hands excitedly.

"I doubt that- and also, I meant, why hasn't he shown up, yet?" Squidward asked, coming to a halt, and looking round suspiciously for any supernatural activity. Ever since his terrifying encounter with the Flying Dutchman at his house, he became paranoid whenever the dreaded sea ghost's name was mentioned.

"Hm, I don't know- though I do see a green fog coming towards us." SpongeBob said, pointing down the road, to where two spectral figures were coming towards them.

"Just my luck," Sighed Squidward. "Encountering the supernatural on a Friday evening with one of the biggest morons in this town,"

...

The Flying Dutchman came over to the trembling Krusty Krew, and began laughing evilly.

"Oh, hi, Dutchie!" SpongeBob called out, in an attempt to be friendly. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, hello there, SpongeBob- I've found me a new friend!" The Flying Dutchman explained, throwing an arm round the second ghost's shoulders.

"Why...why is he covered in...?"

"I've never asked!" The Flying Dutchman replied, winking. "Oh, I forgot to mention- this is...the Bloody Baron! He's a ghost from some school for witch and wizard brats, or somethin' like that..."

"Yes, Hogwarts," The Baron answered with a sniff.

SpongeBob stepped forward, holding out his hand.

"Wait a moment, what does this boy think he's doing?" Asked the Bloody Baron in confusion and disgust, glancing at the Flying Dutchman for an explanation- but the sea ghost only shrugged hopelessly.

"Hi there, Mr Bloody Baron, sir! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants, and this is my dear friend, Squidward Tentacles!" The sea sponge said politely, wrapping one arm round Squidward in a friendly one armed hug, whilst using his other hand to shake the Bloody Baron's hand cordially. "Welcome to Bikini Bottom!"

"Yes...thank you, SplogeDab," Said the Baron, causing the Dutchman to shriek with laughter at hearing the mispronunciation of the fry cook's name – to which said fry cook joined in happily.

"Yep, welcome to the nuthouse underwater," Squidward deadpanned, masking his fear of the baron- or ghost baron- behind a mask of sarcasm.

"Yes, thank you, dear boy," Replied the Bloody Baron. "You know, Squidward- I like your humour. What are your interests?"

"Well, I like the clarinet, and painting, and"-

"Halt! Did you say you play the clarinet?" The Baron asked, hopefully, to which Squidward chuckled and bowed.

"Why, yes I did, sir. Would you care to listen to me play?"

"I'd be honoured, my good man! Uh...octopus- please take me to your palace!"

"Alright, but it's not very big..."

With that, Squidward and the Bloody Baron walked off into the night, leaving only SpongeBob and the Flying Dutchman.

"Oh, and I thought we were BFFS!" Exclaimed the Dutchman sadly.

"Aw, cheer up, Mr. Dutchman, sir! How about you come to my sleepover? We'll have ice cream, watch movies, eat popcorn, do each other's hair"-

"And steal souls?"

"Sure, why – wait a minute! No stealing souls! That's not what friends do, mister!"

"Aw, nuts!"

...

Later, the five were at SpongeBob's, playing their variation of 'Spin the Bottle'- in which they had to declare one thing they liked about each other as a friend.

"MY TURN!" Bellowed the Flying Dutchman, once Sandy had given her reason why she liked Patrick as a friend. He spun the bottle round wildly- and it pointed at SpongeBob.

"Oh, goody- I like you as my friend, because...you have the PUREST SOUL IN THE OCEAN! HA! HA! HA!"

"Ahem!" The sponge cleared his throat, and pointed to his heart. The Dutchman blushed, and amended "...Fine. I like you as my friend because you helped me get me scare back when I lost all faith in meself."

"That's better! Okay, Pat, spin her round!"

"Meow,"

"You're after Patrick, Gary, remember? Be patient, Gare- Bear."

"Meow, meow,"

...

Meanwhile, next door, Squidward was playing his clarinet, (horribly) to his ghostly guest, pleased to have someone appreciative of his art for a change.

"Bravo, bravo, Mr. Squidward! I enjoyed that very much!" The Bloody Baron told him, applauding his host.

"Thank you, thank you." Squidward replied, bowing.

"And to think," Continued the Baron "that I decided to spend my time with that... floating green lunatic next door! Driving me up the wall, he has. You are much more pleasurable company, Mr Squidward."

"Why, you're too kind," the cephalopod said, flattered by the ghost's praise.

"And so, dear viewers-erm, I mean readers; it seems that ghosts are unpredictable in their friendship circles." The French Narrator said cautiously- but thankfully, Squidward was too preoccupied to notice him talking again. "Join us for the next episode of...SpongeBob SquarePants!"


	21. Alcohol

Prompt 21: Alcohol

A/N: This one's a bit dark, folks. Set between Mr. Krabs' leave from the war and the opening of the Krusty Krab.

...

"AAGHHH!"

Eugene H. Krabs shot up, having just had another nightmare about the war he had just left.

"Oh, dear merciful Neptune...those poor lost souls- lost in a cruel, cruel war!" He lamented, covering his eyes with his claws. He hadn't been the same crab who cheerfully marched off to serve Bikini Bottom ever since he came home-rather, the shell of the most hard shelled man in his Navy regiment.

He couldn't sleep. He couldn't talk to anyone. He barely ate- not even his famous Krabby Patty sandwiches he invented in his youth was tantalising enough to him. He looked horrific, with bags under his eyes, saggy shoulders, wearied walk- not even his own mother would recognise him now.

So many...too many for Eugene. He felt his chest clench as he thought about them. Them- the ones who didn't survive.

Reaching to his bedside table, he picked up a small bottle and unscrewed the lid, before raising it to his lips and letting its sweetness wash over his tongue and into his throat. Slowly, he noticed the memories of his friends fade...and felt dullness in his heart where the heartbreak- at watching so many die needlessly- had been previously.

Some of those dead had just been mere boys- boys not old enough to taste the world's greatest pleasures, let alone death.

He drank just one more drop, and drunk and drunk until he had knocked back a whole bottle of rum. Then, feeling overcome with dizziness and drunkenness, he flopped onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling with bloodshot eyes, wondering what his dead comrades would think of him now...


	22. Band Aid

Prompt 22- Band Aid

A/N: A bit weird...Hope you like!

...

Seeing SpongeBob was not welcome on Plankton's agenda, for all sorts of reasons- but today, he was curious as to know why the poriferan was huddled up by the Krusty Krab window, hugging his left knee against his chest- only for him to move it away every so often.

Plankton would normally have ignored his behaviour- but the fact that SpongeBob was outside the Krusty Krab on a Sunday, when it was closed, was a little odd, even for the strange sponge kid.

The miniscule cyclops scurried over to the Krusty Krab to see what was going on- but as soon as SpongeBob saw him approaching, he stood up and ran to the doors in a defensive stance.

"Would you relax, you nimrod? I'm not stealing the formula today!" Plankton told the sponge defensively, holding up his hands in surrender. "I just came to see what you're doing- you were...um..." He pointed to SpongeBob's left knee.

The sponge frowned- before understanding lit up his face. "Oh, that- I'm just scared to take this off..." He removed his hand to reveal a band aid on his knee. "I need to take it off today...but I'm scared it will hurt!"

"SpongeBob, how do you think I feel- I get trod on, squashed and humiliated by Krabs and all of Bikini all the time!" The plankton reminded him, standing on SpongeBob's shoe.

"I guess..." The boy sighed, scooping Plankton into the palm of his hand gently. "I could use a friend to help me through this, but I can't find anyone..."

This gave Plankton an idea. It was a pretty lousy one, to be honest, but he decided to try it anyway. "I'll tell you what, SpongeBob- how about I help you remove that repulsive thing, if you steal the Krabby Patty formula for me in return!" He offered, holding out a hand.

"Never, Plankton!" SpongeBob declared bravely, hugging his left knee. "That would pain me more than removing this band aid!"

"Hm, I see- well, it wasn't my most evil plan, anyway. I have a more...college educated plan in mind."

Then, the little one eyed criminal hopped onto the sponge's knee, dug his hands under the band aid, and yanked it off in one rip.

"OW!" the fry cook yelped in protest, tears of pain pouring down his face. "That hurt..." He blubbered.

Plankton rolled his eye. "Well, if you're done with the tears, I'm going to take Spot to the park." He announced, drolly, causing his frenemy to wipe his tears away with a sniffle.

"Mind if I come with you, Plankton? It's much more fun taking pets for walks with a friend- plus, I need to walk Gary anyway."

"...fine..."

"Great-come on, I'll take you both back to mine and we'll get ready!" SpongeBob enthused.

"Okay, whatever...Spot!" The little amoeba ran out, barking happily. "Slight change of plan, Spot- SpongeBob and his snail Gary's coming with us, and we're going to his to get Gary."

Spot barked.

"Okay, we're ready..." Plankton sighed.

SpongeBob placed both safely on his shoulder and they headed off to 124 Conch Street to start their walk.


	23. Jeans

Prompt 23- Jeans

Another random response. Hope it's funny! Enjoy reading, folks!

...

"Hey, Sandy, guess what?"

"What now, Patrick?!" Sandy grumbled, clenching her wrench even more tightly than usual.

"Uhh, hang on...uhh..." She literally could imagine his glazed eyes and gaping, drooling mouth, and shuddered before she groaned with impatience.

Sure, she cared about the pink chubby starfish as one of her closest friends, and he was kind of endearing in his childlike ways and his (almost) undying loyalty to SpongeBob. But his stupidity and forgetfulness was extremely annoying to deal with- how SpongeBob dealt with it for 30 odd years with only kindness, friendship and love was no mean feat.

She hated to admit it, but she wasn't as patient as he was. Not that she'd admit that to the poriferan.

"Look, Patrick, I'm very busy right now, so if you're not here to tell me something important, I suggest you scram before I kick y'all outta my Treedome and all the way to good ol' Texas!"

"Forget Texas, Sandy- this was what I was wanting to show you!"

"Show me what?" Sandy asked, finally deciding to turn round so she could kick him out.

And then...she saw it.

Instead of his usual green shorts with purple flowers, Patrick was wearing blue jeans- with gaping holes in the knees, and he wasn't wearing a belt. He gave her his usual goofy smile- to which she face palmed.

Golly, she needed to ask SpongeBob if there was any way she could keep Patrick from annoying her whilst he was at work.

And also not to ruin jeans for the citizens of Bikini Bottom.

But all she said to was "Patrick, me turning round was probably the worst thing I ever done since I left Texas."

"Why, cos you realise that I'm more awesome than you?" Patrick smiled cheekily.

"Hey, guys, what's up-whoa, Pat, nice jeans! You look more awesome than anyone else in all of Bikini Bottom!"

"SpongeBob- what are y'all doing here?! I thought"-

"I know- but I'm on break, and I heard Patrick was wearing jeans! I didn't want to miss out on the awesomeness!" SpongeBob told her.

Sandy wondered if Squidward or Plankton would be sympathetic enough to give her refuge from her two friends/migraine catalysts.


	24. Rug

Prompt 24- Rug

...

Gerald Scallop was not surprised- in fact, he expected this- to see Squilliam Fancyson, his master, combing through his baby harp sealskin rug in his living room with a frantic dip of his trademark unibrow.

"May I help you sir?" He asked in a monotone, causing the rich cephalopod to jump up to his tentacles awkwardly.

"You're just in time, Gerald- I've lost my unibrow comb!"

"Again,"

Squilliam blustered at the remark. "How dare you criticise my shortcomings, Gerald! It's not my fault I can't hang on to it- they weren't made for tentacles as fine as mine!"

"Well, sir, that is why we have Jenna in this household."

"She had to visit her aunt and grandmother in Rock Bottom, so she's got the day off," Grunted the millionaire octopus.

The hammer head shark smirked as he silently made a note to tell Squidward all when he went on his lunch break at the Krusty Krab. He wasn't a very loyal butler, and though not a killing sort, he certainly didn't hold back at telling cashier Squidward Tentacles about how easily flustered -and occasionally embarrassing- Squilliam could get when not in front of the media.


	25. Chair

Prompt 25- Chair

...

A single chair in the pineapple house happened to be made from a lifeboat. Not only that, but it acted like a metaphorical one for SpongeBob SquarePants and his pet snail, Gary.

For instance, whenever Gary was inflicted by insomnia late one night- or was just bored whilst his master was at work, he would curl up in the armchair with some tea and his favourite books, and he instantly felt comforted by its rubbery hold.

And whenever SpongeBob suffered a –very rare- bad day, he would take refuge in the chair- and was instantly asleep in his dinghy sanctuary.

But what made the chair special was that if Gary and SpongeBob were suffering a hard time together, they would sit- either side by side, or with Gary in his master's lap- and the unlikely pair would just sit in silence, each comforted by warmth and physical contact from the other.

To SpongeBob's friends, it was just a chair of no significant value, and was meant as a momentary port from aching feet.

But to a sponge and his snail, it was their safe haven, their harbour from the storms of life's negatives- and somewhere where they could be close to each other, without the need of conversation passing between them.


	26. Ribbon

Prompt 26- Ribbon

A/N: This was inspired by a 'memo mobile' I made to keep track of engagements/chores, and the Best Day Ever episode.

...

Spying that blue ribbon dangling limply in the tree of her Treedome had been meant to remind Sandy of something important- but what? She'd been busy the past few days- especially when a waterspout struck a huge rock against her polyurethane walls, causing a crack.

Sandy was able fix the leak herself, easily- but her constant vigilance against the leak had taken over everything else. After all, if the leak – and worse, if the Treedome was damaged further, she could drown.

The only problem had been that she hadn't been able to leave the leak alone long enough to get what she needed to fix it.

Until SpongeBob unexpectedly dropped by, trying to persuade her to do karate with him. As much as she enjoyed doing that with her little square dude, she couldn't- not until the Treedome was fixed. Her friend's visit later came to be a blessing in disguise when he accidentally got his adhesive karate mitts stuck to her roof, stopping up the leak.

...

Now with a potential life threatening crisis averted- and a disappointed SpongeBob leaving to go and find Patrick, she stared high at the barely visible ribbon, trying to remember what it was for. It was important, she knew that.

Well, it wasn't anything to do with her work- she was up to date on that at the moment, and her bosses weren't due down here until 2 months from now. It wasn't family, or she would have heard about it from the surface.

Well, what was it?

Blue...well, she could think of a lot of things that were blue- the ocean. Nope. Mr Krabs' shirt- definitely not. Though...

It dawned on her, accompanied by a loud gasp of shock.

"Sweet Texan acorns! I was meetin' Mr. Krabs and Patrick for Squidward's concert tonight!" She exclaimed. "That darn leak put it out of my mind! If the little square dude didn't help me with the leak just now, I mighta missed it! I'll make our missed karate session up to him when we can both manage!" She decided, and went to go and check on her air suit for tonight.

"I owe ya, little square dude," She whispered to herself with a smile. "Thanks again!"


	27. Bathrobe

Prompt 27- Bathrobe

More Sponge and Squid brotherly fluff! Hope the characters are not too OOC- if they are, I'm sorry!

...

Puffy amber eyes stared intently back at him as the cephalopod stared in his bathroom mirror.

"You are not a loser, Squiddy," he told himself, his voice cracking. He hated himself for feeling so...weak. He had dealt with Squilliam's teasing and bullying before- for years, as a matter of fact. How come he was still so vulnerable to his rival's venomous commentary on his life?

A warm, almost burning, prick came to his eyes, and he furiously wiped it away with the sleeve of his bathrobe.

...

Squidward slammed the door to his bedroom and slid down the back of it until he hit the floor, when he buried his face into his robe covered knees and began to sob again. He hadn't felt this humiliated in a long time- not since a very disturbing incident at high school.

This time, everyone at the Krusty Krabs witnessed his humiliation- Mr Krabs, the patrons, SpongeBob...he didn't want to relive that. Everyone had been laughing at him- disregarding any feelings he had beneath his grouchy, arrogant shell.

The fact that he didn't have friends didn't help him. He never normally cared about friendships, and was rude to a lot of people- but even he couldn't deny that some comfort wouldn't go unappreciated at a moment like this...

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his bedroom door. Okay, scratch that earlier thought. He really didn't want anyone here.

"GO AWAY!" He shouted at the top of his voice.

"Squidward?" A gentle voice asked, causing the cephalopod's blood to boil once again.

"SPONGE _BOB_! WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE?!" He shouted, not at all willing to deal with his neighbour- especially in his current state.

"Squid...I just want to help you," SpongeBob replied, keeping his voice as gentle as before. "You're my friend, Squidward- I hate seeing you upset."

"Well, if you want to help me, SpongeBob, I suggest you get out." Squidward replied, standing up to open the door and kick his neighbour out of the house.

However, as soon as the door was open, SpongeBob threw his arms round his superior's waist and gave him a huge, loving, tender hug.

Squidward struggled briefly against the nuisance's embrace, before giving up and collapsing onto the floor, crying again.

"Aww, Squid..." SpongeBob cooed, before reaching out a hand towards Squidward's face and wiping away his friend's tears with his thumb- an action which Squidward would normally attempt to prevent.

But he just couldn't fight anymore.

...

After a while, Squidward felt exhausted, and started to rise to go to bed- but SpongeBob took his tentacles and helped his neighbour back to bed, before tucking him in for the night.

"There, there, Squidward..." SpongeBob said soothingly, petting Squidward's bald head. Squidward glared, but the poriferan didn't take any notice.

"Would you like me to do anything for you, Squidward?" He offered generously, hands behind his back.

"No, no, SpongeBob- I'm perfectly fine." He replied grumpily, able to slip his grouchy façade on. "I just want to sleep, so would you mind leaving my house?"

"Okay," Replied SpongeBob politely, taking Squidward's tentacle in his hand and squeezing it gently. "Goodnight, Squid- see ya tomorrow." He said, with a tender, kind and innocent smile on his face.

"Night, Sponge," Squidward replied drowsily, snuggling under his sheets as he heard SpongeBob close the door as quietly as possible before tip toing downstairs to the front door.

He knew SpongeBob was usually a nuisance when he came over uninvited- but he did feel a little better knowing that at least someone cared about him as a friend.

Well, maybe Squidward did have at least _one_ friend, after all. He just didn't want to admit that it had to be one of his next door neighbours.

With that thought in mind, he fell asleep, still in his bathrobe.


	28. Phone

Prompt 28- Phone Call

A/N: Since it's implied that Mr. Krabs has a sister in the series, I've decided to create a sister for him, called Josephine 'Jo' Krabs, who lived with a female relative following the death of her father to become a lady, except she rebels against gender stereotypes.

...

9 year old Eugene Krabs swung his legs excitedly on the ratted sofa of his home, with his miniscule best friend, Sheldon Plankton, sitting on his knee.

"What are you so excited about?" Plankton asked curiously, and his best friend beamed in delight at the opportunity to explain the reason for his happiness.

"Today's the day I get 'the call' from me sister!" The juvenile crustacean elucidated his friend. Plankton frowned.

"I didn't know you had a sister." The plankton said in surprise, his singular eye blinking at the revelation.

"She lives with her godmother." Eugene explained. "Her name's Josephine- but don't call her that if you meet her, or she'll beat you up."

Plankton noted that his companion had chosen the word 'if' rather than 'when' and was curious- he was a smart guy for someone so small, and he suspected that Eugene didn't see his sister often- or at least, not as often as he would like.

"Why does she live so far away?" He asked Eugene.

"Mom wanted her to be a lady, and she felt that going with Aunt Mola would be better for her." Eugene explained to his BFF. "She told me she hates being a girl, though."

"Do you ever see her- for day visits or sleepovers, or-?" Plankton asked curiously- only to be interrupted by the phone ringing.

"Shhh, Planky!" Eugene hissed excitedly, leaping across the sofa's armrest before picking up the phone. "Hello, Jo!" He said cheerfully.

"Hi, 'Gene!" A female voice replied. Plankton, who had dived into Eugene's pocket when the phone rang, noted that her voice sounded similar to Betsy Krabs' voice- only slightly higher pitched. "How have you been, little brother?"

"Oh, okay, I guess. But all the other kids are still calling me 'Rags'." He answered. "How are you, Jo?"

"Meh- Aunt Mola's still being too overbearing for my liking. And as for those kids, Eugene- you'll win their respect someday. I have faith in you baby brother."

"Thanks, Jo," Replied Eugene, bashfully.

"Here, 'Gene, can you keep a secret?" Jo asked from the other end of the line.

"Of course I can!" Eugene piped up. "What is it?"

"Well, I've decided that someday, I'm going into...the _army_. I'm fed up of being told I have to be a girl and have to sew and knit- how can a crab even sew?!"

"Mom can- she makes me clothes."

"Well, I can't sew- nor do I want to. Someday, Eugene, I'll venture into the unknown depths of the ocean in the name of Bikini Bottom, and save many people! I hope that someday, maybe we could be in the army together, and we wouldn't have to worry about being apart, ever again."

"I'd like that, Jo- I'd want to be with you again." Eugene replied.

"Uh, Eugene, are you sure?" Plankton asked, as Eugene said goodbye to Jo and hung up the phone. "It sounds dangerous. What if something happens?"

"I'm sure it wouldn't," Replied Eugene confidently.

...

"Mr. Krabs, sir? Are you okay?"

Mr. Krabs starts on hearing SpongeBob's voice speaking to him. "Uh, yeah, I'm fine, laddie!" He lies, hoping his fry cook wouldn't push it further. But the usually naïve sponge isn't entirely convinced.

"Are you sure?" SpongeBob frowns, fiddling with his thumbs in his seat. "You called me in here, sir, and then you...zoned out."

"Yeah- sorry, me boy. What was I saying?" the old crustacean asks, hoping to get back to where they were before. But when his favourite employee only shrugs, he realises in dismay that he never brought it up...and now he'd forgotten what he was going to say.

"You know what- it doesn't matter, boyo- it's slipped me mind." He sighs.

"But, Mr. Krabs"-

"I said drop it." He sighs, feeling a pang of guilt rise up when SpongeBob's shoulders sink.

"Sorry, sir." SpongeBob says, averting his gaze and staring at the knotholes in the floor of Mr Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs feels worse, and sliding off his chair, he hobbles round his desk before putting a fatherly arm round the lad's shoulders.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, son. I'm just not feeling meself today." He explains, to which SpongeBob's bright, childish eyes widen.

"Are you sick, Mr. Krabs?" He asks his employer.

"No, no,-well..." Mr. Krabs is definitely sick- but not physically. He gulps as he looks at the black, ominous object on his desk.

"Look, SpongeBob- how many customers are there, lad?"

"Not too many, sir- why?"

Mr. Krabs just swipes off his employee's hat and hands it to him, who looks confused by the gesture. Feeling a headache looming in the horizon, he explains tersely that he's shutting shop early-much to SpongeBob's shock.

"But, Mr. Krabs, you, you can't close early!" The poriferan stammers in shock.

"I can, and I will, boy! I'm the captain! Now go and swab the decks, and then you and Mr. Squidward can head home early. I'll see you boys tomorrow at the usual time."

"Y-yes, sir...sorry sir." SpongeBob replies respectfully, albeit timidly, reversing out of his boss's office to go and tidy up and report to Squidward the change of plan.

...

The last time he saw her was at the birth of her three sons. Not long after, she went out to fight far, far away from home- and had never come home since.

No letters, no visits, no telephone calls.


	29. Gun

Prompt 29- Gun

A/N: A very, very short prompt.

...

Under some paperwork (including Pearl's adoption certificate), in the top right hand drawer of his desk, in his bedroom, on the upper floor, in his anchor shaped house at 3451 Anchor Way, Bikini Bottom, Eugene Harold Krabs kept his unloaded pistol from the Navy. He kept the bullets hidden elsewhere in order to ensure that Pearl, any of his friends he invited over, or any snoopers didn't hurt themselves, or worse, should his gun turn up.

He kept his bullets carefully hidden in a shoebox under the bed.


	30. Desert (Character Study IV)

Prompt 30- Desert

...

In all my years of living, I never thought I would resort to such a method as this, but...I have left home to seek permanent alternative accommodation.

For as long as I can remember, SpongeBob has been a dear friend and a good and kind master and for many years we've had some remarkable adventures together- all this is more than I can say for some unfortunate snails, and I am grateful for what I once had.

But now I fear his childish whims are overtaking his personal responsibilities to me, and in turn, make me feel as though he has lost interest in my companionship.

I shall venture out into Bikini Bottom alone and find someone who wants me around- not someone who snaps at me and tells me he's too busy to feed me.

My stomach grumbles at that thought, and I feel the cold of the night creep over my shell like ghostly, unseen fingers- I must find somewhere warm to settle down and sleep soon if I do not find some kind soul to take me in.

Many have given me dirty looks, or have just downright ignored me. But I guess that's always how vagrants are treated. And I am a vagrant snail now.

I will always love SpongeBob, but I fear that, even in his impossibly huge heart, that it has no more love left to give me.

Even if I did have some great times at 24 Conch Street-it is now time that I move on, for both of us.

Goodbye, SpongeBob.


	31. Restaurant

Prompt 31- Restaurant

A/N: Written from the POV of the Krusty Krab. Yep, you heard me, people.

...

Every morning, the sun warms my wooden body, and without fail, I open my eyes- at the single turn of a key my owner keeps on him at all times. At once, the 'Krusty Krew' steps inside me, each man on his own level of enthusiasm.

The little fry cook is the one who warms my heart. He ensures it's switched on and ready to cook some of our famous Krabby Patties to perfection in order to feed the town. He cleans me thoroughly every morning and evening, and my old frames are grateful for every brush and scrub in our knotholes, cracks, nooks and crannies. He loves me so much; he would fight tooth and nail to remain longer- if he was a fighting sort.

The grouchy cashier gives me a gut feeling whenever our profits are concerned. He takes the customer's money, distributes change and generally loathes me for merely existing- and for housing what he calls a 'heart attack on a bun,' which I take offence to. Even so, I do feel sorry for him on occasion, for he does have to stand there and take insults from customers, all the while grovelling in the smell of grease and burnt out dreams. He has a spark deep within- he just has to ignite it...

And lastly, there is my owner, the 'Boss Man'. Every morning, he ensures I keep ahead of the game, and he, along with SpongeBob, form the 'Krusty Elite'- the Boss Man's idea, not mine. This is an 'elite' duo which fights to keep the Krabby Patty Secret Formula safe and sound from Plankton, the Boss Man's business rival and owner of the Chum Bucket across the street.

This is the Krusty Krew. My crew- and it couldn't be...well, they're not legendary, but for me, I can contend with a three man crew of varying alignments.

...

"Say, Squidward?"

"What, SpongeBob?" The cephalopod asked grumpily, as Mr. Krabs locked up the Krusty Krab for the night.

"Have you ever wondered what the Krusty Krab thinks when we go home for the night?"

"That is definitely one of the stupidest things you have ever asked me, SpongeBob." Squidward replied rudely, not in the slightest bit remorseful about his callousness to his colleague.

"But, Squid"-

"No buts, you moron- if I was the Krusty Krab, which I am most definitely not, I would be celebrating the fact that you were gone for a whole 12 hours- now good night!" And with that, he stormed off, leaving poor SpongeBob to try and catch up with him.

...

Back at the Krusty Krab, disco lights were flashing and loud music blared throughout the restaurant.

"Hey, Pearl- cool place to throw a party!" A male fish calls out, and Pearl blushes.

"Thanks Kevin!"


	32. Magnet

Prompt 32- Magnet

...

Following the incident of a sea urchin infestation in the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob decided to be wary about fetching lost items from under the grill, and so the following morning, he brought a magnet for metal things- and he was lucky he had the foresight to do so, for he lost his spatula under the grill, and he hadn't a spare one to use.

"Oopsies- better rely on this good old fashioned magnet to fish her out! I'm coming, Fifi!" He called, and got down on his knees for his prized spatula, yielding the magnet like the powerful amulet of Atlantis.

...

Squidward was losing patience- Sandals and Nat were waiting impatiently for Krabby Patties, and no matter how many times the cephalopod cashier rattled or yelled the orders, he always heard a metallic banging from the kitchen.

"Dude, we want our Krabby Patties." Sandal said.

"Yeah!" Nat agreed. "Some service you guys have!"

But Squidward couldn't give them food, and since SpongeBob was nowhere to be seen, he decided to do something he should have done...10 minutes ago.

"Would you two excuse me whilst I yell at the moron in the kitchen?" Squidward asked monotonously, and then turned round to peek through the order window.

"SPONGEBOB, WILL YOU HURRY UP, YOU MORON?! WE'VE GOT ORDERS TO FILL!" He yelled. A dusty, grimy creature popped out from under the grill.

"Oh, hi Squidward!" it said, giving him a friendly wave. "I accidentally flipped my own spatula under the grill so I'm trying to get it back- but all I've found is this ancient and strangely located treasure from Octapius the IV." He replied, holding up a magnet with gold coins, jewels, and beautiful works of art and sculptures.

"Did somebody say _treasure_?!" Mr Krabs asked, opening the door to the kitchen with lightning speed.

"Mr. Krabs, could you please tell SpongeBob SlothPants to hurry up and fill these orders already?" Squidward asked exasperatingly.

"Ha- you're one to talk about sloth, Mr. Squidward! And besides, the boy found me some buried treasure! Where did ye find it, lad?"

"Oh, just under the grill, sir." SpongeBob replied, without a hint of bashfulness. "I was just looking for my spatula, and- well, I caught all this instead. You can have it, Mr. Krabs, sir. I'm just hoping to find my spatula so I can resume the best job in the world!"

"Well, alright, lad- but you're helping me clean all this stuff after work today!" Mr. Krabs decided. "We'll get Patrick to help- that should keep you boys out of trouble!"

"Aye, aye!" SpongeBob saluted.

"Mr. Squidward- you like artsy schmartsy stuff, don't ya?" Mr Krabs added.

"Well, yes...but what's that to do with..."

"Ye can have any paintings and sculptures you like in this lot, lad," The crustacean decided. This made Squidward brighten up.

"Oh, thanks, Mr Krabs." He answered, managing a smile. SpongeBob smiled at seeing this- he secretly loved seeing Squidward smile. He had a really nice smile, but he was so grouchy all the time that no one had the pleasure of seeing it. He moved a foot away from the pile- and heard a metallic scraping. He looked down- and saw dear old Fifi looking grimy, but none the worse for wear.

"Oh, there's my spatula!" SpongeBob exclaimed happily, picking it up. "Well, I'll just wash this and my hands, and then I'll whip up some Krabby Patties!" He said, giving the thumbs up to Sandals and Nat.

"You're just lucky I can wait this long," Grumbled Nat, who trooped back to his seat. Sandals followed- except he returned the thumbs up gesture to the town's favourite fry cook.


	33. Calendar

Prompt 33- Calendar

A/N: This is a parody of one of my favourite fairy tales by Hans Andersen called 'Twelve by the Mail'- this uses the SpongeBob characters, both main and minor, to tell the tale. Enjoy! I hope this one's not boring for you!

...

One New Year's Eve at Bikini Bottom, Nat the bus driver was finishing his rounds. He just had twelve passengers left- a mixture of old and young people. They were all at the back of the bus, but he had no idea what it was they were doing.

With a sigh, he pulled up at a bus stop, the last one in the old year, and announced that everyone had to disembark.

A grumpy looking octopus stomped up the aisle, glaring back at the group. "I'm not doing this!" He insisted.

"Yes you are, or you're fired!" Another voice called.

"Hi, I'm January- here to remind you that this month is full of pointless resolutions and back to work disappointments." The cephalopod, who was donning a brown jumper and a knitted scarf, told Nat, before jumping off the bus.

"Meow, meow, meow!" ('Hello, I'm February, and I bring love and Annoy Squidward Day to the New Year!') Nat looked down in confusion to see a snail with a pink shell and a blue and green body down below, dressed in a pink heart with red hearts on- as well as a fake nose matching that of the octopus from before.

"Okay, what's going on here?" Nat asked in confusion.

"Quiet!" A voice barked from the back- coming from a red crab.

"Just wait outside for me, Gary, okay?" Another voice asked -which belonged to a young yellow sponge. The snail meowed and then slithered off the bus, much to the discomfort of the octopus waiting outside.

"Someday in the New Year, March will steal the Krabby Patty secret formula and rule the world!" Another voice shouted.

"Never!" The crab and the sponge shouted.

"Oh barnacles!" March cursed- and then looked behind him. "Why are we doing this, anyway?" But he was ignored as a giant, chubby pink starfish accidentally stepped on him and came to the front of the bus.

"I'm April, I, uhhh..." He suddenly began to drool on the spot, oblivious to Plankton's protests to being squashed.

"Okay...out you go, buddy." Nat said discomfortingly, pushing the starfish out of the bus to join the others.

"May can smell...EVILLL!" An old man in pink fluffy slippers and a bra shouted, before running down the aisle and jumping out of the bus.

"Okay..." Nat said awkwardly. Once it dawned on him what was going on, sort of, he sat down.

Great...he was going to celebrate New Year listening to a bunch of lunatics going on about how they were the months of the year...and he didn't even know why they were doing it.

...

"June LOVES shopping with her friends!" A sperm whale dressed in a pink jacket and hat decorated with a red pom pom squealed delightedly- only to be pushed aside by the red crab from before.

"Well, July LOVES his money!" He said, and did a very pirate- like laugh. Nat just rolled his eyes before pushing the duo out. Well, that was seven. He looked at the back to see who was left- the sponge kid; an old lady who looked like the kid's grandma; a female squirrel; cartoon hero Barnacle Boy; and a pufferfish.

The little sponge was next. He pirouetted up to the front and looked at Nat with a large smile which only creeped the latter out.

"Please tell me you and your friends are getting off normally." He pleaded, but the kid shook his head.

"Sorry, sir- but we agreed to stick it to the end. Don't worry; we'll make it up to you at the end." The sponge promised. "I'm August- I'm a fry cook at the Krusty Krab and I bring happiness and joy to all its patrons!" He jumped off the steps of the bus, leaving a sparkly rainbow- before pulling the freezing group outside for a big, loving squeeze.

The female squirrel came up next. "I'm September- I'm an inventor, and for the New Year, I bring karate and developments in society!" She announced.

Next was the puffer fish, working her way cautiously between the seats of the bus very awkwardly- due to her more rounded figure.

"I am October, and I bring for the New Year- plenty of seasoned drivers- and no SpongeBob at my boating school!"

"Um, what's that to do with the New Year for all?" Nat cut in.

"Oh, just a personal preference for me." 'October' replied, and made her way out. "You're up, November!"

This made Nat perk up. The old lady and Barnacle Boy were the only two people left on the bus. If they hurried now, maybe he could still make New Year at home.

"I'm November," Said Barnacle Boy grouchily, "and I hope that this year will be crime free." He walked- slowly- off the bus to re-join his monthly compatriots.

At last, only the old lady was left. She got up, and walked to the driver's seat.

"Please tell me you're the last passenger!" He begged.

"Why certainly, dear," She replied in a motherly tone. "And I am old grandmother December- I nurture the joys of young, innocent children, and relish the Christmas Spirit- plus I make the hot cocoa and cookies for everyone. Now, who's hungry?" She asked the crowd outside.

Eleven hands were in the air. December chuckled and passed out hot cocoa, cookies, gingerbread men and cake to all- even grouchy old January and November, who both let out a rare smile.

"Thanks grandma- you're the best!" Said August happily, giving December a hug.

"Meow!" February agreed.

"Oh! But we mustn't forget about you, Nat!" August cried compassionately. "Come and join us- there's plenty to go round!"

Nat sighed. Well, he had two options- go home and celebrate New Year too late, or welcome it in time with these twelve people he wasn't so well acquainted with- and get free cookies and hot cocoa. Hmm...

...

The twelve were confused when Nat drove off into the distance, not once looking back.

"What it something August said?" April asked in confusion, scratching his head.

"He better watch how he's driving," October said darkly. "If he doesn't want to end up back in boating school..."

They all shrugged. Oh well, if Nat couldn't take on what the new year would undoubtedly bring to this town, he might as well move to Rock Bottom.


	34. Murder (Character Study V)

Prompt 34- Murder

...

I can't protect us both any longer! It's either me or the boy who takes the blame for the health inspector's death- and by Neptune, I'm too money loving to go to jail!

"Ok, I confess! SpongeBob killed him!" I say, pointing a claw at him- forgive me, lad.

"What? You can't pin this whole rap on me!" He argues, clearly panicking.

"He was insane! Out of control! He would've killed me too if you two hadn't come along!" I lie, hoping that playing the victim card will get me off the hook for actually being the one responsible for the demise of the health inspector.

"It was all Mr. Krabs' idea!" SpongeBob insists, those blue eyes of his staring at me, horrified that I would pin the blame on him. I guess I do feel sort of guilty for trying to use him as a scapegoat- but I'm too far gone. I'll fight for me freedom and me money.

"Put him down now! He's a mad dog!" I insist, unable to stop. Oh, dear Neptune, why wasn't Mr. Squidward here to help? He'd get me off the hook through pinning SpongeBob as the killer-even if his loyalty is questionable.

"He wears curlers to bed!" SpongeBob shrieks.

"Wait! It's not what you think!" I insist, panicked. I knew I would regret the night when SpongeBob accidentally saw me in me curlers. In fact, he and his friend Patrick had both seen me. If I remember rightly, they were going to play a prank on me late one night- but they caught me in me curlers- and I made them both swear not to tell anyone.

Well, this be mutiny!


	35. Closet

Prompt 35- Closet

...

Ribbons of steam wafted from Sandy's tea cups as she poured out some Texas tea for her visitors- her twin brother, Randy, and her friend SpongeBob.

"Here ya are, you two!" Sandy said perkily, handing them their tea, before sitting down at her seat, admiring the flowers both of her guests had brought for her.

"Shucks, thanks Sandy!" Randy drawled. SpongeBob echoed the sentiment, before they got to business.

"So, SpongeBob- before we talk to Randy, I just want to say that he prefers...oh, how's the easiest way to explain it?" She asked. It wasn't that SpongeBob was a homophobic- her poriferan pal just didn't understand romance beyond a certain level, due to his naivety and childish nature.

"It's okay, Sandy, you can tell me." SpongeBob said, smiling.

"She's trying to say I'm gay," Randy cut in, before Sandy could say anything. "That means I like guys, rather than girls- to date, that is."

"Yeah- I knew I could trust ya to know this, SpongeBob. You're not a judgemental sort."

SpongeBob nodded. "So, is this...a secret?" He asked curiously. He had a feeling that Sandy seemed almost afraid to let on that her twin was...what was the word? Oh, wait- homosexual. It was a strange word.

"Well, it shouldn't hafta be a secret, but there are people who just don't think that love between same sex creatures is...natural."

"But...but love happens naturally! You told me so!" SpongeBob argued, unable to believe that there were people who were capable of being so horrible towards two people who loved each other.

"Yeah, I know. But life ain't fair, SquarePants." Randy answered. "I told Sandy about it before she moved down here- and I've been called horrible names, given cold stares, and unfair judgements- just because I'm not attracted to females."

"Well, that's a horrible way to be treated!" SpongeBob cried indignantly. "I don't think that's right!"

"It ain't right, but that's how it is." Sandy said, clearly annoyed that her friend couldn't just accept that things weren't always fair. But that was SpongeBob for you- unwilling to give up on the world and the goodness of those within.

"Randy, I want to help you," the fry cook said determinedly. "I don't know how, but I want to help."

"Man, this guy doesn't quit, does he?" Randy asked his sister in amusement, jerking a finger in the sponge's direction as she shook her head in frustration. "But hey, it's a good thing, sis- I could use a friend like him- someone who would help me persuade others to understand that homosexuals are for – and deserve- respect and love, and are not to be treated like some travelling freak show." The male squirrel put a hand on SpongeBob's shoulder-or as best as he could, anyway, considering his water helmet.

Sandy allowed herself to soften at seeing SpongeBob's determined face- it was clear that her fry cook friend was determined to help the two squirrels, and show Bikini Bottom that Randy deserved to be treated with as much respect as the next guy.

"Well, I could never win your argument, Randy." She said fondly. "Well, alright, SpongeBob, y'all can help."

"Really- oh thanks Sandy! I wouldn't let you guys down!"

Sandy smiled at her friend's enthusiasm, but was secretly worried at what could happen if they weren't careful.

She just didn't want SpongeBob to witness the true horrors of bigotry like she and Randy had been forced to back on land.


	36. Pillow

Prompt 36- Pillow

A/N: Some friendship fluff ahead!

...

SpongeBob had fired the first shot.

In less than five minutes, his house had become a warzone. He tiptoed through the house in his fluffy pink bunny slippers, pillow aloft- wondering whom he'd run into.

Would it be his best friend, Patrick? Would it be his other best friend Sandy? Or would it be his little Gare Bear? He hadn't a clue.

All he knew was that they were also armed, and ready and waiting for him in the shadows of his pineapple.

He sincerely hoped they hadn't teamed up against him. Gary was smart, Patrick was strong, and Sandy was both smart and strong. He didn't like his odds- he was very weak, due to being a sponge, and although he did have some smarts, he wasn't intellectual like Gary and Sandy were.

"Pat- you there, buddy?" He asked nervously. "Gare Bear? Sandy?"

A noise behind him made him jump in panic, and he raised his pillow to above his head. "Who's there? I know you're behind me!" He said in panic, looking all around for the perpetrator.

He saw the snail slime on the floor, along with some hairs from Sandy's tail- and his shoulders deflated. Well so much for that hope then.

And then, he was suddenly pinned to the ground.

...

"Coochie coochie coo!"

Several friendly fingers found SpongeBob's ticklish spot, and he began giggling and squirming in response as they danced lightly across his tummy. The fry cook looked up and saw that Sandy and Patrick were both holding him down, each tickling their friend.

"We got ya, buddy!" Patrick grinned goofily.

"Yeah, little square dude!" Sandy added, snatching the pillow off SpongeBob and tossing it to the sofa in order to render her friend defenceless against their tickle attack.

"Ga-Gary- HEALP MEAH AHHH HAAA!" SpongeBob was laughing so much now he was nearly indecipherable. Gary just gave SpongeBob a look, and slithered away.

"NOOAHW! GARE BEAHER- DON'T LEAVE!"

Gary stopped near SpongeBob's feet, and yanked out a feather, before pulling off one of SpongeBob's slippers with his teeth and tickling his master's yellow malodourous sole.

SpongeBob laughed and laughed- until Patrick, Sandy and Gary decided to cease their tickling round on him, and helped him up to his feet.

"Well, that was fun!" SpongeBob said, smiling.

The others agreed- and so, for round two, SpongeBob teamed up with Sandy to tickle Patrick, and after that, the boys worked together to tickle Sandy.


	37. Guitar

Prompt 37- Guitar

Okay, just to make it clear, Patrick's moved away from wherever he and SpongeBob lived before, and to Bikini Bottom. SpongeBob aspires to leave home when the time is right, and join Patrick in Bikini Bottom.

...

12 year old SpongeBob was in his parents' back garden, his loyal pet snail, Gary, beside him. His ukulele was cradled in his lap, tuned and ready to play.

"Oo-hoo...yeah...Sitting on my parent's back wall with my snail...Missing my best buddy...oo-hoo...I'm ready for my future- look out, Bikini Bottom, cos here we come!" Then, unable to think of anything else to say, put aside his ukulele. Gary took the opportunity to slither into his friend's lap, purring comfortingly.

The young poriferan scratched behind Gary's eyestalks gratefully, and then gave him a hug.

"Aw, thanks, pal. I miss Pat so much."


	38. Work

Prompt 39- Work

A/N: I guess this prompt looks a bit like a poorly done essay than a story- but enjoy, anyway! If you can...

...

SpongeBob and Sandy are best friends, and they have been for quite a while.

Many people could see that- or at the very least, that they were very close to each other. Many also know, and say, that they have careers on the furthest ends of the career spectrum- and they're right.

But, that their careers were nothing alike was for the unobservant to say.

For what the sponge and the squirrel both have in common is that they have a common work ethic- they remain devoted to their work and channel their hearts into their jobs. And in Sandy's case, her brainpower.

They both also enjoy their jobs very much and are very reluctant to change jobs in a great hurry- even though the pair of them has bosses who are keen to harness their employees' talents for money. SpongeBob has Mr. Krabs, and Sandy has three chimps from the surface.

SpongeBob and Sandy also use their talents to bring something to the community- for Sandy, helping make others' lives just that little bit easier, and for SpongeBob, bringing a delicious, beloved but fattening and addictive sandwich to the populace of Bikini Bottom.

Yes, Sandy may be a top notch scientist, and SpongeBob a mere fry cook. But it would be foolish to say that their careers had absolutely nothing in common at all.

That's one reason why they make a great team.


	39. School

Prompt 38- School

A/N: Just a little acrostic poem about boating school! Not great at poetry, but this should sum it up.

S is for...still in boating school

C is for cutest pupil ever!

H is for Hall Monitor (Ain't he adorable!)

O is for organized for class (always!)

O is for 'once again in hospital'

L is for licence- which poor SpongeBob still hasn't achieved!


	40. Diary

Dear Diary,

Gary's so handsome and caring! Not to mention super smart!

I wish my master would let me see him more often- but he says no, whenever I do try to go and see him. He is insistent that I do NOT interact with him, for he calls Gary a 'mongrel' – but he's much more intelligent and kinder than a lot of purebred snails I've ever come across.

Gary's master seems happy at the idea of us being together, and he's tried to persuade Squidward to at least give us his blessing- but Squidward is adamant I do not speak to Gary, I do not go near him- I'm not even allowed to utter his name whilst I am in the Tentacles household.

But I wouldn't be for much longer tonight- Gary and I are going to dinner! Oh, here comes Gary with the ladder now!

I better go now- I'll tell you about my actual date later!

Snellie


	41. Ladder

Prompt 41- Ladder

Crack, creak, crack creak!

Slowly, slowly up the ladder creep.

Don't let the rungs make a peep!

Or else you'll get a visit from none other than...The Monster of the Attic Deep!

Oh yes, my friends - he's very much real!

And since you ask with such valour, such zeal!

I'll this to you reveal-

He closely resembles an elephant seal!

I see to you this does not appeal

Indeed, you have turned green – perhaps teal!

And yes, indeed- to outwit him,

I'm afraid you cannot do it on a whim!

For you, my friends, that will spell the

END!

But you need only do as I say,

And you alone the monster shall obey.

All you must do, is seek the ladder

Of Oceandun-voo,

And your destiny you shall fulfil!

It all sounds so simple- but beware!

Great dangers you must face, and greater responsibilities you alone shall bear!

You must never on your journey forswear

Or else you will come to despair!

So, keep to your quest,

find that ladder, and pass the test!

And the Monster of the Deep Attic you shall best!

A/N: This is just a little piece of Halloween themed poetry to (hopefully) get you in the spirit of the season!


	42. Shirt

Prompt 42- Shirt

Warning- major character death in here.

...

The door creaked open. In the deadly silence, it made SpongeBob wince as he finally braved himself to open his neighbour's bedroom door.

The window was open, letting in a delicious breath of warm air- but the poriferan could only feel a cold fist clench round his heart as he looked at his neighbour's bed.

Squidward lay atop his sheets, looking peaceful- and oblivious to his neighbour's intrusion.

"Squid...please, wake up," he whispered. He wanted the doctor downstairs to be wrong- he didn't want Squidward to be gone!

"Squidward, you're gonna be...be late for work." SpongeBob whispered. "And you have a clarinet recital tonight, remember?" He asked, trying to be jovial. But it was difficult, for he still couldn't see any response from the older male.

His eyes pricking with tears, SpongeBob tried one more time. "Squid, please...would you like to go jellyfishing with me and Pat after work?" He offered, but there was still no answer.

"I'm sorry kid," Said the doctor, coming in to announce the sponge's time was nearly up. "Your friend passed away in the night. He's gone."

SpongeBob gulped. "No...no it can't be..."

The doctor only nodded. "I'll give you five more minutes, if you like." He said, and he stepped out of the room.

SpongeBob stared at his peaceful looking neighbour- and broke. His body was wracking with sobs and his grief filled wails echoed off the walls.

...

After a while, SpongeBob stopped crying (or at least the worst of it) and he rose on shaky knees. There, lying, neatly folded, was one of Squidward's favourite shirts. SpongeBob picked it up and smelled it, breathing in his friend's scent- coffee, mint, lavender and clarinet polish. The smell rushing through his nose made his eyes water even more.

"I miss you already, Squid," He whispered.

...

"SpongeBob, SpongeBob? You in here, buddy?"

Patrick opened the door- and jumped backwards in fright as he saw Squidward' body lying in the bed.

"Squidward...?" he whispered in shock. So, it was true- Squidward was dead. He felt afraid to step into the same room as his now deceased neighbour- but he racked up his courage when he caught sight of his best friend fast asleep in the middle of the room.

He was lying across the floor, holding one of Squidward's shirts to his tear stained cheek like a very flat teddy bear.

Patrick tiptoed across the room, scooped his best friend in his arms and took him back to the pineapple, feeling worried and concerned for the sleeping sponge.


	43. Music

Prompt 43- Music

Continuation of the last chapter.

...

A few days after Squidward's death, a small crowd were huddled by an open grave, surrounded by several floral tributes and music sheets- laminated- of Squidward's favourite musical pieces.

SpongeBob couldn't stop crying- he had been through a lot of tissues and he was unsure of whether he could face up to Squidward not being around anymore.

A life without Squidward was suddenly looking empty.

Sandy put her paw on her friend's shoulder and rubbed it comfortingly. SpongeBob looked up at her. She looked as though she longed to say something, but could not find any words befitting their situation.

The two watched silently as Squidward's coffin was carried to its resting place. Mr Krabs, Patrick and Larry Lobster were amongst the pall bearers.

Patrick shot a concerned look at SpongeBob. He had wanted to be with his best friend- but Mr. Krabs had agreed for him and Patrick to help carry the coffin to the grave when the funeral was being arranged.

Patrick had been unable to back out of it in time.

...

The coffin was lowered, and Patrick made his way over to SpongeBob, where Mr. Krabs was already talking to SpongeBob. But as Patrick weaved through Squidward's relatives and narrowly avoided running into Squilliam Fancyson, he thought he heard music.

But no one present had an instrument with them.

What was more, it sounded like a clarinet. Patrick looked around wildly, hoping to find whom was playing it- but he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Giving up, he continued his way to join his friends.

"...look, laddie, I know this wouldn't be easy for either of us, but both out of respect for Mr. Squidward and for us to heal, I'm closing the Krusty Krab for a time."

SpongeBob couldn't vocalise any objections or agreements- his throat was too hoarse from crying.

"I'm sorry, SpongeBob."

"SpongeBob!"

Sandy, SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs looked behind them as Patrick came to join them. "Hey, Pat," SpongeBob replied dully.

"Hey Patrick," Sandy and Mr. Krabs added.

"Hi," Patrick replied, distracted. "SpongeBob, can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure, pal," SpongeBob confirmed, and the two left, leaving their friends alone. "What is it, Pat?"

Patrick told SpongeBob about the music. "SpongeBob, I know it sounds crazy, but I could have sworn I heard it! And it sounded like Squidward!"

SpongeBob was conflicted. On the one hand, he wanted to call Patrick out on his beliefs, say that it was a lie- Squidward was in his coffin.

On the other hand, Patrick, though he had done things that made him act like a jerk, he would never stoop so low as to tell lies at someone's funeral- especially at a funeral of the neighbour they loved so much. After all, Patrick had cared about Squidward too.

"When?"

"When what?"

"When did you hear it?" SpongeBob asked.

But before Patrick could answer, the jovial sounds of the clarinet began again.

"There it is!" Yelled Patrick, causing much bemusement from the other mourners. SpongeBob was alarmed.

"Patrick, shush! Keep it down!" the poriferan hissed, his blue eyes wide with shock. "I heard it too! And you're right- it does sound like Squidward. But how...?"

"You boys alright?"

SpongeBob and Patrick jumped as Mr. Krabs loomed in front of them. "Um...yeah, we're fine...Mr. Krabs." SpongeBob lied weakly. The crustacean frowned, but didn't press the matter.

...

For the rest of the day, the two friends didn't hear the clarinet music, and when night fell they agreed to stay at SpongeBob's house for the night.

"Squidward's house looks so empty," SpongeBob said quietly, looking out of his bedroom window at the octopus's empty house.

"Yeah...smells empty too," Patrick added. SpongeBob frowned at this odd statement, but let it drop and the pair went to SpongeBob's bedroom to sleep, where Gary and Snellie were already sleeping.

When Squidward died, his will said that the octopus wanted SpongeBob to become Snellie's legal guardian, for he didn't know anyone else who would look after her. SpongeBob was willing to open his heart to another snail- and now Snellie was here to stay.

"Goodnight, Pat," Said SpongeBob sleepily.

"Goodnight SpongeBob," Replied Patrick wearily. The two got into bed and lay there for a while, allowing their thoughts to course through their minds.

"Patrick?"

"Yes, SpongeBob?" the starfish asked.

"Do you think we'll see Squid in our dreams?" SpongeBob asked.

"Well, I hope so, buddy," Patrick answered with a nod. "It'd be nice to see him again."

"Yeah. We never got to tell him we love him." SpongeBob added. "So, if we see him in our dreams, that's what I'm going to tell him."

"Me too."

And so, the two friends eventually fell asleep, lulled by the sound of clarinet music drifting in from the window, where a white-blue glow illuminated the night.


	44. Bullet

Prompt 44: Bullet

...

It was no secret that Squidward didn't see eye to eye with SpongeBob.

His next- door neighbour/co-worker was annoying, childish, idiotic, uncultured, irresponsible, and too affectionate for his liking.

Not to mention so oblivious to Squidward's hatred for him.

Even if Squidward called SpongeBob an idiot fifty times before lunchtime, or insulted the poriferan's past times daily, SpongeBob always- always- seemed happy to see Squidward. He always tried to do his best by the octopus, and gave his co-worker bucket-loads of hugs and kisses every day, either oblivious to or ignoring the fact there were a lot of witnesses in the Krusty Krab.

Squidward never understood his neighbour. But he felt that if he was shot at by a crazy, bank robbing megalomaniac, then SpongeBob would be the one idiot crazier than them and take the bullet for him.

...

Although the story involved no shooting, it came as a bombshell when, one night, SpongeBob was driven to tears by an angry customer after a failed pizza delivery from the Krusty Krab.

Squidward wouldn't have given a stuff about the job if it hadn't taken them all night just to get around the corner with a lost boatmobile, several brushes with death and SpongeBob rambling on and on about those stupid pioneers.

Squidward would have been glad to teach SpongeBob a lesson after that soul dredging experience; but not even he deserved the customer's unfairly placed wrath. The 'customer' had ordered a pizza, they got it there, after much mishaps of getting lost and nearly dying of starvation- and he turned them away at the door-for the lack of a soft drink he didn't even order!

Now SpongeBob is lying at his feet, pouring his heartbreak into the sidewalk at having disappointed the customers so badly, and Squidward is furious.

But not at SpongeBob.

"Sponge?"

SpongeBob just lets out a louder sob than the last, and Squidward's heart wrenches in his chest. He snatches the pizza from his weeping co-worker and marches boldly with it to the front door.

He will fire the bullet.

It will be a sweet, delicious bullet; cheesy with just the right amount of pepperoni to counterbalance the cheese topping.

But a bullet, nonetheless.


End file.
